Whatever it was
by P.Crespi
Summary: Coming home after several years abroad, Noriko is welcomed with open arms by her Lillian friends. While comfort is reassuring, understanding that one does not mend a broken heart with distance and distractions can be crucial when healing and closure are deeply needed.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Although I have read several stories here on FanFiction, this is my first time uploading one of my own. I've been a huge fan of Maria-sama ga Miteru for a while now and like a good hopeless romantic, I have always envisioned happy endings to our beloved Lillian girls, although the "getting there" might become very, very complicated at times.

This story was completed in July and has about 25K words. I'm no professional writer, nor am I very confident that this will be a good story; however, this keeps the fandom alive, and I hope it can make at least some people smile!

Thank you for reading!

Whatever _it was: Chapter 1_

Noriko was used to it. Pain had never really bothered the girl, though the taste of bile was proof that the theories were correct: alcohol was poison. Touko had warned her a few times before, "I'm okay with the taste of it. As a matter of fact, I actually like the damn thing. Onee-sama, on the other hand, does poorly with alcohol. In a way I do believe the woman is too pure to have such toxic liquid percolate her veins. That might be your case, too, Riko-chan." The dark-haired woman was actually able to smirk at the memory before the second wind of dry heaving possessed her.

 _This is exactly what I deserve,_ she thought.

Choosing a destination when she left Tokyo was surprisingly easy, Noriko was never one to have second thoughts about her decisions. The hardest part was not even leaving her friends. She was certain they would do just fine without her, and indeed they had done well for themselves: Touko was done with medical school and had been working for a federal hospital. Yumi was in the midst of making it big in the architecture world as many of the projects she had done for the Ogasawara Company were being noticed by other wealthy business-leaders. Lastly, Yoshino along with Rei had finally taken over the Hasekura's Kendo. The hardest part of living abroad was the constant reminder that Tokyo still existed.

 _Damn poison!_

The third language acquisition during the last leg of her scholastic endeavor was almost there, granted, a few slips here and there still happened; however, Noriko had gotten to a point where her speech wouldn't falter anymore, so finding places and making new friends wasn't hard at all. She had the chance to travel up and down the west coast of South America and had along the way become an even stronger woman and very dedicated scholar. Her research was almost finished; two hundred eighty seven pages of Incas examination. Who would've thought that the Buddhist statue worshiper would've gone as far as idolizing a different kind of sculpture?

Her phone buzzed and she put up a fight with her back pocket while another wave of sourness escaped her lips.

"Touko," she coughed, "I'm a bit busy."

"You never e-mailed..."

"I'll e-mail you when I get WiFi."

"Which will be never."

"…"

"Let me call you tomorrow."

"But I'll be in the hospital. I won't be able to ans–"

"Then I'll get a hold of Kanako."

"Nor – "

Noriko dropped the call knowing very well that Touko would get mad, but not wanting to let her friend worry. She also didn't want to leave Touko with the picture of the always well-put Lillian maiden holding on to a toilet, barfing her dinner and half a bottle of tequila.

Ok, more like three-fourths of a bottle.

 _Ah Japan, I don't miss you a bit._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This is a dialog-heavy and extremely choppy chapter. There are flashbacks and the introduction of a few more characters who may not influence Noriko directly, but are influential in a subtle way, nonetheless.

Whatever it was - Chapter II

The buzzing on her chest wouldn't stop. The fact that Noriko had slept on her host-family's doorsteps numerous times with music blaring on the background made Noriko's phone – an early alarm dreadfully set weeks ago – sound just like another memory of some forgotten night on the young woman's mind.

The phone kept jumping up and down Noriko's chest for a long while until it took a leap onto the tiled floor, much like the leap Noriko's heart took when she pleaded Shimako not to join the Cloister, and much like Noriko's heart, the phone came apart, the battery cover hid behind a dresser, the battery itself, hit the wall adjacent to the bed. The owner of sleepy dark orbs slowly crawled off the bed, finding the pieces of her phone and putting them back together, Good as new… Her heart, on the other hand, still had missing pieces from the day Shimako said her goodbyes.

It was around six in the morning when a cotton-mouthed Noriko powered her phone back on, looked at the time and headed to the bathroom. Opening the faucet she shoved her head sideways in the sink, slurping as much water as her stomach could hold.

If Maria-sama is still watching, I'm sure she's not very proud...

As the room started to spin uncontrollably, Noriko found herself sitting on the cold floor. With eyes closed and clammy hands she focused on her breathing, and while trying to avoid a repeat of the previous night she waited until the walls weren't swirling anymore before stumbling into the shower. The 15-minute bath was quite a treat; Noriko was a seven-minute shower girl, after all, the woman was always on the go; she slept little, tried to eat healthy and spent most of her time writing about her findings. She was never bored, never complained of being tired and learned quickly to always say yes to whatever she was invited to, which lead the girl to meet a multitude of people, and develop a fond liking for alcohol.

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself then her hair in towels before walking back to the bedroom where she grabbed undergarments, a pair of jeans and a faded gray Hokkaido University t-shirt from her suitcase. Noriko never attended Hokkaido; though she had good memories of visiting Saporo, she decided against the renowned university. When she left Japan and went to America to study, she knew she would miss her shrine visits and Buddhist statue searches, but she knew that her decision to walk away from that culture was the best thing she could have done to help mend her broken heart. Boston – a decision that was heavily influenced by not only Sumireko-san but also Takuya-kun – was a breath of fresh air to the ebony-eyed woman; cold, but she never complained, liberal, and she loved that, but on top of it all, it didn't remind her one bit of Tokyo.

Noriko dressed quickly, standing in front of the mirror that hung in front of her bed, she untwisted the towel from her head and let her hair fall against her back before pumping the leave-in conditioner in her hand three times then working the cream from the ends up. Moving forward, she walked toward the almost empty dresser, grabbing a hold of a brush and retracing her steps until she stood in front to the mirror again. Long gone were the bangs that hid Noriko's glimmery eyes. The side-swept bangs – one of the few things that the woman maintained and made sure to trim on a regular basis – resembled Sachiko's.

Flicking her hair forward, Noriko detangled the long locks that were way past her mid-back, "Yumi, we need to talk," she told her reflection, – in her best Sachiko impersonation, of course – "Meet me in my bed, and you better be naked when I get there," the dark-haired woman chuckled at her own antics. Truth be told, Yumi would have done it. She would have gone to the Ogasawara mansion, said hi to Sayako-obasama, talked to the older woman for a few minutes, then she would have headed upstairs, undressed and waited. Sachiko would have followed Yumi closely, exchanged a few words with her mother like: "Don't let anyone bother us this afternoon. I'm teaching Yumi a few things and we rather not be disturbed." Then, Sachiko would have educated Yumi, to the best of her abilities, even with the little knowledge she herself had.

Noriko chuckled again. I can't believe it took them so long to realize they were in love, she pondered. Sachiko-sama could never keep her hands to herself around Yumi. The girl sat on her bed, still musing about the connection that Sachiko and Yumi had. She clasped her hands and stared at her feet, a smile tugging at her lips, Yumi-sama's self-control was really surprising… Yumi had taken it all with such elegance, calm and dignity: Sachiko's affection, the scoldings, the uncertainties, Touko's crap, Sachiko's distance when she went off to University, – even though it was just Lillian U – the wedding invitation, dress shopping for Sachiko, dress shopping for the bridesmaids, – Yumi included – the wedding rehearsal, the wedding day.

Much like a Mexican soap opera that wraps itself up in the last three minutes of the last episode, Suguru, who was sweating through his white, overpriced tuxedo, grabbed a hold of Sachiko's hand once she reached the altar. He looked into her eyes, to the back of the church, then opened his mouth, although the voice that actually echoed through the pews was someone else's:

"If neither of you have the balls to fight for your own happiness, then you have no business running the Ogasawara Company," Tooru's voice was sharp, a serious tone that made gasps resonated across the church.

"…"

"Ladies and gentlemen, forgive my forwardness but this wedding cannot go on," he bowed deep before continuing, "Please, if you wish, the reception will take place according to what the invitation says; therefore, enjoy yourselves. We will join you shortly."

Tooru stepped up toward Sachiko and Suguru, "You two, follow me."

Once inside the sacristy the older Ogasawara continued, "Sachiko, out of all of the people I know, you were the one I thought would actually do anything to protect the heart of the person you love."

"…"

"What in the world were you thinking? Are you so scared of me that you would give up your own happiness just to agree with what you thought was my wish?"

"But, father. I – "

"You are so lucky, Sachiko… to have someone that would wait for you and stay with you through thick and thin. Through all of these years the girl stood by your side, loving you quietly; making sure she wouldn't disturb you, yet changing you completely. Her love transformed you, my daughter, into this wonderful woman you are today, and yet you chose not to fight for her heart? You better have a really good explanation for her..."

"…"

"Now go! Find her, apologize then if she still loves you after what you did to her all of these years, kiss her, like she deserves to be kissed. And not with fear of being caught this time, Sachiko, kiss her like I know you have been wanting to for so long. Go be happy, my daughter."

"Father…"

"Go!"

Sachiko took off her shoes and ran as quickly as she could, the pleats of her dress danced with every leap she took, and instead of berating herself, she smiled, knowing that she had been given the opportunity to start anew, to openly love the person who had taught her heart how to smile. Stopping before the doors ahead of her, she took a few deep breaths building the courage to walk into the reception hall, though before she could actually open the doors a small hand grabbed the raven-haired woman by the arm.

"Onee-sama!"

"Yumi! I –"

"No! I need to tell you that…Who… whomever this person your dad was talking about is, Onee-sama, I… I'm happy for you."

"Yumi! It's not –"

"I'm serious. I'm glad Tooru-sama helped you and –"

"You…"

"…"

"The one… The one I love…" Sachiko whispered, a dark blush painting her cheeks.

"Sachikooooooo-oneeeee-sama!"

"I was such an idiot to make you wait for so long. I am so sorry…"

"How did you know I…"

"Everyone knows..."

"But…"

"Please, I don't want to make you wait any longer. I don't want to wait any longer."

"Does that mean I can…"

"Yes."

"Here, out in the open, though?"

"Yes!"

Their first kiss was shy and brief, though it carried the weight of two hearts bonded by a love that was unmistakable.

"Suguru, where is he?" Tooru inquired.

"Outside."

"Then, why are you still here?"

"Right! Thank you so much, Tooru-sama."

As Suguru made his way out of the sacristy and through the empty pews, he reached into his pocket to withdraw his phone, swiping the screen a few times he found the contact he wanted then pressed the call button.

"Did you do it?!"

"No."

"Then why are you calling me?"

"Someone else did it."

"Yumi?"

Suguru opened the door leading outside, lifting his head he spotted his car.

"Tooru-sama."

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

Suguru dropped the call before entering the passenger side of the car.

"Your sister was about to say something, though."

"She had promised."

Noriko stood up and gathered the remainder of her possessions that were still scattered in her room, throwing them into the suitcase and zipping it up. She doubled checked the room to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything, then threw her backpack on her back and grabbed a hold of the suitcase's handle so she could wheel it through the path that connected the pool house and the remaining of her host-family's home.

"No-ri-ko!" Doc. sang, "Let me get you a cup of coffee,"

"Thank you," Noriko sat her backpack on top of her suitcase and pulled up a chair, leaning both elbows on the table when she sat down.

"Rough night?"

"Yeah…"

"Here," the American professor handed Noriko a cup of black coffee laced with two spoons full of sugar. He then turned around to give attention to a pan with eggs he was cooking.

She took a sip of the coffee, then heaved a long breath, "I'm going to miss you, you know…"

"Leaving is the easy part, Riko," the older professor said, pointing a wooden spoon toward the girl, "Staying; on the other hand, requires much more adjustments."

After hearing the Professor's remarks, Noriko's eyes drifted toward a window, "I know… I know that feeling quite well."

"I didn't meant to – " He let his sentence drift unfinished, setting a plate of eggs and toast in front of the girl and one across the table where his own mug with steaming coffee sat.

"It's okay, Doc."

"…"

"…I bought a couple jars of that mixed berries jelly you like for your trip…"

Noriko gave Doc. a sincere smile before thanking the older Professor then the kitchen fell into silence until breakfast was over.

Doc. drove Noriko the to the airport after breakfast. The two-hour trip was filled with small talk about Noriko's research, Doc.'s new endeavors as well as long minutes of comfortable silence.

"If you want to, I can send you more jelly once you figure out where you'll settle, Noriko."

"I'll e-mail you my address anywhere I end up, just for that jelly!"

"That's what I like to hear."  
"Again, thank you so very much for everything. I will never forget this."

"Take care, Noriko."

Noriko tossed and turned during the ten-hour flight to San Francisco. Unable to find a good spot to comfortably place her long legs, she made a mental note to spent a little more and get a seat with extra leg-room for next time. The dark-haired scholar almost lost her connection and was finally able to doze off once she found her seat in the much smaller domestic flight that took her back to Boston.

Good old Massachusetts! The girl thought, while she sat on a bench and watched people walk by. Once the bus she was waiting on arrived, she loaded her suitcase and hopped in, finding a window seat and stretching her legs. She then watched the cars drive by and people get to and from their own destinations. It didn't take long before Noriko felt her eyes getting heavy and without putting up a fight she closed them only to re-open them when her bus had reached its destination.

Once on campus, Noriko wheeled her suitcase to a friend's apartment and as she had a copy of the key, she didn't hesitate to unlock the door and walk right in.

"Noriko!" A very childish yelp greeted the girl.

"Hi! I thought you'd be in class. I hope I'm not a bother. I'm only here for a couple of weeks before I head home for the summer."

"Oh my gosh, Noriko. Stop being such a good gal and come give me a hug! You should have told me you were coming back. You know I could've picked you up from the airport! Who picked you up?" The girl finally exhaled.

Noriko took a few steps closer to the girl and was quickly embraced by her friend.

"I took the bus," she said almost out of breath as her friend held her on a death grip.

"Noriko! You spent five hours on a bus!?"

"Four and a half, actually."

"So stubborn…"

"…"

And again, all in one breath, the friend squealed, "Let's take your stuff to my room. Do you want to take a bath? I'm sure you're dying to unwind. I'm going to get the top bunk ready for you before I leave for class, and I'll let you catch up on sleep for now."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Noriko said, a smile reaching her eyes as she opened her suitcase and retrieved a towel and clothes to change into.

Once her friend had fixed the bed, she cracked the door of the bathroom open and through the steam of the hot water and the noise of the shower she spoke, "Get some rest because we're taking you out tonight! I'm so, so happy to see you!"

Noriko finished her shower, blow-dried her hair and climbed atop of the bunk bed. Six hours after she closed her eyes for the last time her friend poked her on the shoulder, waking her.

"Noriko," her friend whispered, "we're leaving in 15."

"Hmm," Noriko moaned before sitting on the bed, "is it time already?"

" You need pants… and definitely a bra….are you cold?"

"Ugh! I've been awake for less than three minutes and you're already - "

"Yes, I am already."

Noriko jumped off the bed, found a pair of pants and the bra her friend insisted she wore, then put her hair up in a ponytail before screaming toward the living room, "I'm ready. What now?"

"Now, we take shots!"

Noriko's phone buzzed on top of her chest yet again for several seconds before she grabbed it and unwilling answered the device,

"Kanako, is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine, Riko… I don't mean to worry you. Touko has been talking about your flight non-stop… complaining she still doesn't have the itinerary from you, she made me call."

"Touko!"

"Please, Riko, don't be mad at her. You know she just wants to help."

"I know, I know. I'll e-mail both of you later today."

"Thank you..."

"You're welcome."  
"…"

"Noriko,"

"…"

"Noriko, are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just... I had a little too much to drink last night, that's all.

"Noriko…"

"I'm fine. I'm fine… Touko worries too much, and you are starting to do the same. She's rubbing off on you, Kanako… "

"…She is."

"Now… I'll see you in a few days ok?"

"It'll probably be just me picking you up. She's been really busy with hospital stuff."

"I figured as much, and I appreciate you taking time off to come get me."

"Don't even start! We're all excited we get to see you!"

"Love you."

"Love you, too!"

Noriko dropped the call and got up from the cold bathroom floor. She had a week and a half to make the last adjustments to her research presentation before heading to Tokyo for summer break – it had been three years, after all.

The Friday before her Saturday flight, Noriko stood in front of the committee to present her findings. Ironically enough, the dark-haired girl was much more worried about traveling to Tokyo than being in front of professors with years of experience in the field.

"Noriko," one of her professors started, "as expected, you have done an exquisite job putting into words what you've learned."

"Thank you so very much," Noriko bowed deeply toward her professors.

"We also wanted to tell you that the Asian grant came through and in conjunction with Tokyo University, we're able to expand our Anthropology program. With that being said, we would like to ask if you'd work with us in order to solidify this venture."

"Venture?"

"You are already familiar with the program, plus you understand both languages, Noriko. We want you to be one of the leaders of our research team. But we also want to add a teaching component to your responsibilities, so you'd be lecturing two lower-level courses."

"For how long?"

"At least a year."

"A whole year?!" Noriko's voice cracked.

"At least a year. Meaning we might have to extend your stay. Look, Noriko, we want to be very clear with you and tell you up front everything we would expect from you in case you accept this proposal."

"Six months. I'll sign a contract for six months. If I can, I'll sign another six-month contract."

"Deal."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

Noriko shook the hands of the three professors as she was given names, phone numbers and e-mail addresses of administrators she was to contact once she had settled in Tokyo.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: There are a lot of characters making their debut in this chapter ;)  
I found myself reading and re-reading what I wrote, then re-writing parts of it, but it still feels choppy - I do apologize for that. Lastly, I wanted to thank you guys for reviewing, following and stopping by to read the story!

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter III

Noriko's flight – fortunately or unfortunately – arrived as scheduled. She walked slowly to the baggage claim belt and stood there: eyes blurry with tears that stubbornly spilled forth. Watching the many different shapes and colors passing by her, she tried to decipher the meaning of the knot in her throat.

"Are you not picking it up?"

A very familiar voice rang in Noriko's ears and confusion took the better of the girl. Without uttering a word, nor turning around to regard the voice, she watched a very pale arm reach around her. Long strands of blonde hair swayed in the air back and forth, covering the face of the woman fishing the suitcase with the name 'Nijou' written on it from the baggage belt.

"Did you forget how to speak Japanese?" The woman asked in perfect English.

"I-iie," Noriko answered.

"I see."

"Where's– "

"Who? Kanako?"

" Yes..."  
"Apparently, they needed her at the office more than they needed me."

"Kanako works with you?"

" _For_ me, would be a better way to put it."

"Sei-sama, how can the woman who hates men more than Sachiko-sama work for a company that caters specifically to them?

Sei started to wheel the suitcase away, leaving Noriko grounded in place, "That's exactly why she's so good at what she does, No-ri-ko-chan."

"I don't believe this!" Noriko breathed quietly while quickly falling into step with Sei. "People change, you know," Sei started, "I've told this to you before, but to me, places like Lillian shouldn't exist."

"…"

"They sheltered us, you know, all of us… during the most crucial years of our lives! We were fortunate enough that we were actually able to go home and interact with the outside world at least for a little bit at the end of the day, otherwise none of us would have survived after graduation."

"I don't even want to think about the idea of being in a dorm at Lillian. Although, I am sure some of us would've gotten lucky much more often."

"Some of us… perhaps."

"Rosa Gig… Sei-sama, I didn't mean to– "

"It's no big deal. Shiori is part of my past as much as the others that have come and gone. They all took a piece of me when they left and I'm completely fine with that because they also left a little of them with me. I'm thankful for that exchange because all of that, Noriko, all of the pieces I parted with and the ones I picked up on the way made me who I am today. Shiori just happened to be the first one and for a long time I didn't understand very well how to handle those feelings."

"Sei-sama…"

"We're really gonna have to do something about this sama business soon." She nudged the younger girl with her elbow, offering Noriko a warm smile.

"But… That's how we've always called you."

"Well, then I'm gonna be forced to call you Nijou-sensei from now on."

Noriko gasped, her cheeks blushing slightly at the idea of the honorific being added to her last name. The dark-haired girl had adapted very well to the westernized and much less formal first-name basis; though when it came down to Japanese names, the honorifics were engraved in her memory, much like the names and titles of the people she respected.

Sei opened the trunk of her car and with a fluid motion threw Noriko's suitcase in it, shutting the door and walking to the driver's side. She stopped and leaned on the hood, "You don't go around calling Touko, Matsudaira-sensei, or Kanako, Honokawa-sensei, do you?" she smirked at the end of the remark, "Get in, Nijou-sensei."

"Sei-s– "

"Nah!" Sei interrupted, while backing up the car and leaving the covered parking garage.

"Sei…" Noriko cringed at the way that rolled off her tongue and at the thought of being disrespectful toward Rosa Gigantea.

"…"

Silence reigned in the car for several minutes until Sei decided to turn the radio up. "I just had new speakers installed, watch this," Noriko's eyes grew large as the music coming out of the speakers made the entire car, including Noriko herself, shake.

"Ok! Ok! I see it!"

"Pretty nice, huh?"

"You know, I thought by now you would have switched cars."

"Why do you say that?!" Sei stated in a hurtful tone, "I'll never get rid of her!"

"…I always thought a black car would suit you better, Rosa Gigantea."

"Sei."

"Ugh! Sorry..."

"You are Rosa Gigantea, too, remember?"

"There's really no winning with you, is there? How can I forget that?"

"I don't think you can win… nor forget."

"…"

"Now, before I turn this up again, tell me how much time you're planning on spending in Tokyo. I wanna actually see you more than just today, you know, to bribe my granddaughter!"

"S… Sei, you don't ha–"

"None of that, Noriko. Youko was all over Yumi for the longest time; 'my granddaughter this, my granddaughter that,' even now, I feel like she likes Yumi more than she likes Sachiko!"

"That's not an issue when it comes down to us."

"Well… I didn't mea– "

"At least nine months," Noriko quickly said, hastily interrupting whatever Sei was about to use as apology, "It was supposed to be two, but now it's more," she continued, a little on the frantic side. Sei glanced over, looking at the girl with questioning eyes, though she didn't pry – Sei wasn't Youko.

"I'm actually working for Tokyo U next semester. Well, more like working with them, through UMASS."

"Oh. So you _will_ be Nijou-sensei, after all," Sei said a bit awkwardly as she scratched the back of her head and then using the same hand brushed to the side the bangs that had covered her eye, "You might be able to see Eriko, Tsutako and a few other familiar faces then."

"Is that so?"

Noriko found it so interesting that several of her Lillian friends and acquaintances ended up going to College for longer than they were expected. Some even ended up working either as teachers, professors or administrators in schools and universities.

"Hmm, hmm…" Sei responded.

"Truthfully, I really think that many of us did that because in a way education was what brought us together to begin with. It allowed us to create these extremely close connections with other people… Some of us just couldn't let that go. Although others decided to just… well… let everything go…"

"…"

Sei knew that the majority of Lillian students, Sei included, were nothing but sheltered kids pretending to know more than they did and getting their hearts broken by life. Anyone who knew Sei, knew that the blonde would always hold a grudge against Lillian: from her parents forcing her to attend the school, to Shiori breaking her heart, to the rumors about the writing of 'Forest of Briars,' to many other things that happened within those walls. Though, many would say that the blonde was a glutton for punishment for not going away after she graduated from high school. Nonetheless, Sei had her reasons for staying, two of them had first names starting with the letter Y.

The blonde held on tightly to her steering wheel, clenching her jaw. She then sped up and without looking, drove by the tall gates that greeted her every day for so many years. Noriko, on the other hand, couldn't take her eyes off of the old entrance. Even though both women had two completely different ways of handling Lillian, it wasn't strange to think that those two hearts were one and the same in brokenness and yearning for mending.

Noriko watched Sei squirm for several moments before she could sit up straight once more. Cheeks still flushed red from holding her breath, the blonde tried to make small talk, " So, are you teaching western history?"

"Anthropology," Noriko corrected.

"Aaah. I see. Teaching students the art of academically observe stuff. Why am I not surprised?"

Sei tried to explain that in a very weird way, and mind you, she hated that this was coming out of her mouth, but in a _very_ weird way she thought, "it's a Gigantea family trait!"

They were very good observers indeed, so much so that Sei believed that if they walked into the Rose Mansion the next morning, there would be a great possibility of finding a younger version of them, "clad in a dark dress, sitting on the windowsill staring at the nothingness outside."

In a way Noriko had done what Sei was planning on doing before Shimako came along. By not choosing a Petit Soeur, Noriko actually brought the 'cycle' as Sei called it, to an end.

"Although, whoever was picked as your successor, at least to me, but most likely to the girls that grew up adoring you, that person, Noriko, had to be at least a little like you and by association, like all of the other Gigantea sisters. That's my educated observation on the Gigantea matter."

"So if we look at it with your eyes, then Touko is Youko-sama's cycle-closer?"

"Maybe." Sei knew of the Red-Rose family's dynamics too well. "I'm sure she meddled in your business as much as Youko meddled in mine. Maybe, in a perfect world you two would've ended up together."

Only in a perfect world… Noriko loved Touko as a friend – no one could have doubted that – however, dating Touko would have made Noriko commit homicide, or perhaps suicide.

"…Kanako is a saint."

"No kidding."

"…And it looks like the saint _and_ the monster both are home," Sei said, turning into the driveway of the house Kanako and Touko had been sharing for almost tree years then parking behind the SUV Touko drove.

"I'll get your bag if you open the door?"

Noriko gave Sei a quick nod and watched the older woman fish out her suitcase and roll it toward the main door of the two-story home.

"Touko, Kanako I'm ho– "

"Surprise!"

The screams resonated across the living room while Noriko looked around speechless.

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

Yoshino held her drink up as she closed the distance between her and Noriko, "…and we've been drinking for an hour already, so you'll need to catch up quickly!" She hugged the taller girl tightly. "I've missed you, No-ri-ko-chan."

"I've missed you too, Yoshino-sama."

"What's the deal with these honorifics?" Youko chided at the younger woman.

"Youko-sa… Youko!"

"Come give me a hug!"

As Noriko finished hugging everyone and was being thoroughly questioned by Nana and Yoshino about everything that had happened to the dark-haired woman during her flight, Sachiko decided to take the moment to harass Sei: "What took you so long, Satou?" she gave the blonde a very classic Sachiko-stare.

"Don't be so crabby, Sa-chan!" The blonde walked toward Noriko handing one of the drinks she held to her Lillian granddaughter,

"Thank you," Noriko said, taking a big sip and closing her eyes, the liquid coated her mouth and burned going down – Noriko didn't care.

Stepping closer to Yumi, Sei grabbed the petite brunette by the waist, " Traffic was horrible!" She then unhooked her arm from around Yumi and moved toward Sachiko, giving the Ogasawara-heiress a long and tight embrace.

"We were starting to worry," Yumi pouted.

"I should've called, I'm sorry. We just got to talking, and…" Sei looked at Noriko as a smile reached her lips and brightened her eyes, "She grew up to be such a wonderful woman."

"Sei… You can't be – "

"It's like Youko dating Touko!" Yumi whispered.

"No one in their right mind would date Touko," Sei pointed a finger at Yumi, locking her jaw in joke anger.

Sachiko chuckled at the blonde's antics, "Unless you're…Kanako…"

"She's not that bad, you guys! Yumi tried to help her Petite Soeur, "Touko has a really amazing heart!"

"Only Kanako would put up with the craziness and still smile like that, though…" Sachiko lifted her drink and pointed at the general direction where Kanako sat by Touko, sporting a bright smile while she caressed her wife's back, "… but we're missing the point here," she finished, looking back at Sei.

"That Kanako is really a saint?"

"Sei!" Sachiko reprimanded.

"Okay, Okay! Listen… Noriko never was and never will be of my interest. I look at her and still see the 16-year-old Noriko; too smart for her own good, yes; super cute, yes, but she never belonged to me. Let's be honest here, guys…" Sei took a sip out of her drink then looked into the cup and moving her hand in a circular motion, stirred the cocktail as if gathering her thoughts.  
"Yumi, when you look around this room, who do you see?" Sei finally asked.

"Well, I see Sachiko, You –"

"Ah, ah, ah, that's enough. Thank you… The first person you see is Sachiko, right? Now, from stories I've heard, Sachiko can find you, Yumi, in the middle of hundreds of people, covered head-to-toe in a panda suit. Correct, Sachiko?"  
The raven-haired woman smiled toward Yumi, then looked at Sei as images of the Hanadera festival from years ago flooded her thoughts. She knew Yumi was indeed dressed in a panda costume even as she walked amongst hundreds of other people.  
"Correct," she whispered.

"See, even though you guys still see the world as it is and are aware of your surroundings, you belong to each other in such a deeper level that you are either the first person the other sees or you can spot the other kilometers away. I'm going to go even further and add Kanako and Touko, Yoshino and Rei to this. These people's connections are incalculable as well. The love is engraved so deep within their hearts, they don't have eyes for anyone else."

"So, you're saying that Noriko…"

"All I'm saying is that Noriko and I have no such connection. Not that I don't love the girl, because… how can you not love her?!" Sei chuckled before continuing, "But the love we share is different, although love, nonetheless."

"Sei-sama…" Yumi said in a voice thick with adoration toward the woman who could be such a flirt and a pain in the neck at times, but who could also say the sweetest things when they needed to be said.

"Don't Sei-sama me!"

Youko, who had taken an interest in the conversation between the younger Chinensis sisters and Sei, had walked up to the trio right as Sachiko kindly spoke to Sei, "One way or another you always find a way to surprise everyone when you open your mouth."

The elder Rosa Chinensis wrapped her arm around Sei's shoulder and smiled wide before starting, "Sei's mouth does surprise people…" She then raised her glass and took a sip of her red wine, "Cheers to that!"

"Are you tipsy, Rosa Chinensis?" Sei asked as she grabbed onto Youko's waist bringing the woman closer to her.

"I believe I must plead guilty as the evidence…" Youko pointed at three empty bottles of red wine sitting on the kitchen counter, "…indeed lead to my slight intoxication."

Sachiko watched as Sei smiled at Youko's words then finished her own drink and started to walk toward the kitchen, untangling her own arm from Youko's waist, "Sei, let me refill it for you," Sachiko offered, "Yumi, please grab Onee-sama's glass so we can refill everyone's drinks, will you?  
Yumi did what she was asked, reaching forth and taking the almost empty glass of wine from her Lillian grandmother, then walking to the kitchen counter she placed her and Youko's cup down and tenderly kissed Sachiko's cheek before helping with the refills.

Once Yumi walked away, Youko straightened herself up and looked deep into Sei's grey eyes before asking, "How is she?"

"Good."

"Sei…"

"She's fine, Youko. She's a smart girl, you know. Well educated, speaks however many languages, has seen a lot more of the world than we have, met people from all kinds of walk. I'm sure she's had a lot of opportunities to discuss whatever her pain was with more insightful people than we will ever dream of meeting."

"But, did it help?"

"What?"

"Talking to all of those people?"

"She's the only one who can answer that question, but by the way her eyes glistened when she looked at Lillian, yeah…she's still not over it."

"Did she mention her at all?"

"One snarky comment."

"Very Rosa Gigantea of her."

"Hey!"

"Ah! Come on!"

As Youko reached for Sei's hand, Yoshino's scream halted the attempt. "Nine months?!" she started, then looked around the room and asked, "Did you guys know Noriko's staying for nine months?"

Noriko looked around as she watched her beloved friends smile and make their way to the living room, getting comfortable for the dark-haired girl's story behind the reason she'd be staying for such a long time. Sei started to follow the group but Youko grabbed the blonde the by arm, shooting her a questioning look. The blonde entwined her fingers in Youko's then lifted her free hand, palm up as if saying she knew nothing. Youko knew Sei was lying, though she did nothing but shake her heard at the blonde. As they made their way toward their friends, Sei never let go of Youko's hand.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This is indeed a side story, but shouldn't be seen as filler. To me, even though Noriko was not in Japan for a long time, she was still involved in her friends' lives, so she knows - in detail - how many of the relationships flourished after the girls graduated from high school. Every little thing we experience in life -whether as main characters or spectators - molds us into the people we are currently. This chapter is no exception when we talk about Noriko's growth.

Once again, thank you so much for taking the time to read this! :)

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter IV

Kanako woke up early; one of the weird traits she had developed in college and had followed the woman after graduation. She would have cleaned the house and made breakfast for Touko, but not wanting to wake up Youko and Sei, sleeping on the couch in what many would interpret as a cuddle, Kanako decided on silently making coffee and quickly headed back to the bedroom. She cracked the door open slightly before walking in, hearing the shower going off, she leaned her heard on the doorframe and looked into the room. For some reason, to the dark-haired woman, the marriage as well as the house, cars, bills that the couple had shared for now three years, were still a bit of a fairytale, though walking into the room and seeing Touko's shoes and clothes neatly folded on top of their dresser and pictures of the couple where she held the brunette tightly in her arms, always brought everything into perspective again: Touko was Kanako's home.

As Kanako pushed the door open and entered the room, she reached down and tossed onto the bed a part of the covers that touched the floor. Touko had this incredible ability to jump off the bed every morning like the house was on fire, sending the comforter flying, and in the process, either completely uncovering Kanako or throwing the covers on top of her head. Kanako felt a shy smile tug at her lips, a reminder that Touko's flaws only made her more adorable than the short brunette already was, _Who would have thought that out of everyone I would be the person she would have opened up to the most?_

The dark-haired woman finally settled on a recliner by the bedroom door, holding the cup of steaming coffee on her lap with both hands. She then laid her head back on the chair. Her ears couldn't help but take in the soft melody coming from the bathroom, nor could her nostrils not recognize the scent of Touko's body wash and shampoo, both seeping thorough the closed bathroom door. Kanako's eyes closed as her ears finally recognized the song coming from the bathroom: Pachelbel's _Cannon in D Minor_.

The sweet taste of coffee sealed that moment as Kanako's eyes closed and her mind wandered through memory lane, to a time that was by no means as smooth or peaceful in her life…

"I've been waiting for you, Touko… for all of these years, I mean… And truthfully, I'm not sure if that was really the right decision, but at the time, I guess, my heart only had eyes for you. So I waited… Because I thought your heart also saw as mine did."

"Kanano-san…"

"No... I... I'm just doing this because I don't want to go through what Yumi-sama and Sachiko-sama went through. You were there! You knew what was going on, and I know you told Yumi-sama countless times to go tell Sachiko how she felt… You saw her whither away, Touko. We all did! Yumi-sama's heart was reduced to almost nothing and she held on to the last legs of the faith she had for Sachiko-sama's love for her. We don't have a Tooru, Touko. We don't have someone who will stop a wedding and tell us what we already know."

"Kanako-san," the use of the honorific for the second time hurt much more than the words that followed it, "but right now… I don't think I can…"

"It's ok. You see, all I wanted was a sign…" Kanako didn't want to go through life not knowing how Touko really felt.

"…"

"…I… I already paid for the coffee, so please enjoy it… I… I should go. If I miss one more class I might not be able to graduate!" Kanako chuckled, knowing very well that the statement was a complete lie.

"Ok."

"Tomorrow night, though. They're making a big deal out of it, please don't be late…"

"I won't. I told grandpa I was going to stay the night tonight, but not tomorrow."

Kanako stood up, picking up her cup of coffee she looked at Touko before smiling and saying: "Don't… don't overwork yourself." She then bowed and walked through the door, into the cold fall breeze.

 _Did she just dump me? She couldn't have dumped me if we weren't going out, right?_ Kanako thought as she reached for the headphones and put them on, getting ready for the 15-minute walk she had ahead of her in order to get to her classroom.

 _I wonder if this is how Noriko felt…_

The tall, dark-haired woman gathered her hair and brought the improvised ponytail over one shoulder, letting all her hair drape across her right breast and atop of a dark-blue peacoat that hid a grey sweater she wore.

 _I wonder what Shimako-sama told Noriko... I'm sure it was much worse than what I just heard from Touko. Maybe… Maybe I'll give Sei a call…_

Kanako thought fondly of the older woman, who had for many years harassed the younger Roses and Kanako in association as tough the girl was much a part of the Yamayurikai as any of the other Roses. Touko, over and over again had made sure that everyone recognized Kanako for her hard work and commitment to the Lillian student council. The brunette didn't hesitate to mention the overly-tall girl and her professionalism in every speech she had to give. She didn't leave Kanako unrecognized even during her last speech as Rosa Chinensis. _Touko's a good friend,_ Kanako thought as she sat at her desk, setting her music on repeat. Swaying ever so slightly to each note of the piano, she closed her eyes, sending a little prayer to Maria-sama: _Thank you, Maria-sama, for putting Touko-chan in my life. She has been an amazing friend to me and I hope I didn't mess things up with what I told her today. Maria-sama, if you are listening, please, I beg of you that you keep Touko in my life. And though the fact that I won't be able to hug and finally kiss her will hurt me every day of my life, I do think my heart can heal, so long as she is around… Please, give me the strength to go on with my life in such a way that I am not a bother to others, and in such a way that I can walk side-by-side with my best friend without wanting her just for myself as I know this might be one of the many things I might not be able to have in life. Maria-sama, please, protect everyone, especially the ones who are not under our watch anymore. I wish I were strong like them... Thank you, Maria-sama for everything. Amen._

Kanako went to all of her lectures that day, then went back to the coffee shop to work her scheduled shift. During her dinner break, se called Sei, who had picked up the phone after the first ring. When Kanako walked out of the coffee parlor, instead of crossing the street and heading toward the apartment she shared with Nana, she took a left turn toward the strip of bars that were right around the corner from her job. Once Kanako entered Sei's favorite pub, she spotted the blonde sitting at the bar, harassing the bartender. There, they talked about Sei's job at the Manga Company and the stories she was working on at the moment; mostly Yuri, though she was actually starting to dab into Yaoi, which made Kanako smile. Sei also explained to Kanako that her hair looked so good because Rei had cut it the night before. "Sometimes I wonder if there's anything that woman can't do," Sei laughed as she looked at the dark-haired girl who was checking her phone for the nth time that night. "Give her time, you know. I'm sure she understands where you're coming from and will come around soon. She's a smart girl, Kanako. A pain in the butt for sure, but very smart!" Sei finished, taking the last sip of her beer and asking the bartender for a refill for her as well as a new drink for Kanako and two shots of strawberry vodka. "Cheers," the blonde said as she waited for Kanako to take the shot then following suit, she drank hers. "Let her come to you. I can assure she'll want to talk more. You guys can put everything on the table then, and you can tell her how much her friendship means to you and that you don't want to lose that. It's simple, you know… You just have to tell her."

At the end of the night – or beginning of morning – Sei walked Kanako home and watched the girl fiddle with her keys for a moment as if she couldn't find the right way to unlock her door. _Much like trying to get into Touko's heart,_ Sei thought, and ironically enough, she saw Kanako turn the handle and find that the door had been unlocked the entire time. Sei chuckled and nodded at Kanako who waived her goodbyes from the open door. The blonde then turned about, fishing her own cellphone out of her pocket and powering it on for a second, then turning it back off, _No messages,_ the device read as she made her way back to the bar.

Kanako had lain in bed and watched the ceiling spin for at least 20 minutes before she plugged her phone into the wall charger. _It's been eighteen hours since we last spoke_. The alarm clock on the side of Kanako's bed marked 2:43 a.m. when her heavy eyes found well-needed rest.

At 4:56 a.m. Kanako's phone went off and much for her surprise the familiar ringtone made her heart skip a beat, "To…" Kanano cleaned her throat, "Touko…" a sleepy and very coarse voice whispered into the device held against her ear tightly.

"I'm so sorry for waking you, Kanako-san…I need… I need a ride. Can you com– "

"Where!?"

"Grandfather's hospital."

"Touko! Are you ok?! What happened?"

"I'm fine Kanako-san… I'm fine." Touko's voice couldn't hide the lie.

"Yumi-sama, Sachiko-sama… your parents, your grand–"

"Kanako-chan," Touko's voice was warm, "please. They're all fine. We're all fine. I'm the only one here. Well, besides Ojii-san, who's working."

"I… I'm leaving now. I'll be there soon."

Kanako dropped the call as she thanked Maria-sama for having fallen asleep in her jeans. She brushed her teeth quickly, then slipped a pair of shoes on, grabbed her jacket and headed toward the garage. The tall girl didn't bother turning the radio on as she rushed around cars on the highway and sped up when greens turned into yellow. Sei would've been proud of Kanako's racing abilities as the drive that was supposed to take an hour and a half only took the dark-haired girl 45 minutes.

When Kanako approached the front of the hospital, she spotted Touko sitting on a bench, looking toward the trees up the hill. Lost in thought, the brunette didn't realize that Kanako had stepped out of her vehicle and had leaned against the passenger door, watching Touko's cloudy eyes and not missing that both of them wore the same clothes from the previous day when they had met at the coffee parlor.

Kanako couldn't take her eyes off of Touko's light-colored jeans that had been tainted with dirt, especially around her knees. She also couldn't help but notice that the dark-blue button down shirt that Touko was wearing had dried bloodstains on the cuffs and a trail of dirt and blood across her chest.

"Touko-chan…" Kanako whispered, trying to get her friend's attention, "Come with me, you must be freezing."

"Kanako-chan…" Touko said, finally moving her gaze from the top of the hill to the tall girl that stood in front of her, "Thank…. thank you for coming. It was too early to worry anyone else."

Kanako watched the short girl stand up and walk toward her, "Here," Kanako said as she opened the car door for her best friend, "Please, get in."

"Thank you," Touko whispered as she stepped into the small car and watched Kanako make her way to the driver's side. Once in, the dark-haired woman reached across Touko, pulling the seatbelt in front of the girl and buckling it. The brunette didn't move, her hands clasped together as if searching for warmth, her shoulders slumped and her gaze down. Kanako buckled her own seatbelt and reaching into her pocket, she withdrew her ipod, plugging the device into her car and pressing play while she drove away.

Touko took a deep breath and looked at Kanako who paid careful attention to the road ahead of her. "Last night," Touko started.

"You don't have to tell me," Kanako said, glancing at Touko with a warm smile then quickly staring back at the road.

"But I want to. Please, let me," Touko said, and at receiving a nod from Kanako, she continued, "Last night, I was waiting for the bus, just where I was sitting when you picked me up… When… When I heard brakes squeal and a really loud bang coming from up the hill," Touko gave Kanako a side smile as the girl turned to face her for another second, silently saying: _I'm right here listening._ Touko nodded and took a deep breath before going back to her story, "I don't know… the first thing that crossed my mind at that moment was my biological parents, so I ran up the hill as quickly as I could! I had no idea what to expect. I just figured… I just thought I needed to go up there…" Touko felt a knot in her throat keeping her from speaking for a long moment. Tears blurred her vision and holding them in, she pressed on after another deep breath, "When I reached the top of the hill, I saw it… I saw a car, past the ditch in the middle of the trees, upside down… My heart dropped to my stomach, but I ran toward it, without even thinking twice."

"Touko…"

"Kanako-chan, I want to finish. I want to tell you…" Touko said as the first tears finally spilled forth, though she didn't move a muscle to hide them, "I broke the back passenger window with a rock and unlocked the front door, then thank goodness Yuki-kun showed up out of nowhere and helped me unbuckling the driver and dragging the girl out of the car… then we went to the other side and did the same thing to the other girl in the passenger seat… not long after that, Kanano, the car caught on fire… Everything happened so quickly, I didn't even know if that was really what happened or if I was just making things up till Yuki-kun and I sat down for a few minutes and talked earlier this morning."

"Were the girls okay?"Kanako asked.  
"Ojii-san and Yuki-kun worked for hours, but they won't know if they'll make it until later when the broken bones, lacerations and internal bleeding are stabilized…"Touko finished as Kanako opened the door to the apartment, "I see…" Kanako answered, then motioned toward the couch, silently asking Touko to sit. "Let me get you a towel and a change of clothes from Nana's so you can change into while we wash your stuff. Is that ok?"

Touko sat on the couch and regarded the tall woman for a second, "Kay," was the shy reply before she looked down on her lap once again.

"Kay," Kanako mimicked the response before heading toward Nana's bedroom and grabbing a change of clothes for Touko. She then went into her bedroom and withdrew the softest towel she could find from her drawer before walking back to the living room and sitting once again by the brunette, "Here, you shoul–"

Before Kanako was able to finish her sentence Touko silenced the girl, pressing her lips against Kanako's. The dark-haired girl stiffened her shoulders and quickly ceased the endearing gesture, "This… Touko… don't. This is not how it's supposed to be. You can't just do that after telling me you couldn't 24 hours ago!"

"I can! I want to! I'm not going to lose you to my stubbornness. I can't! I'm not waiting any longer. If you'll have me, Kanako… I don't want your heart to whither like Yumi's or break like Noriko's. I don't want to be like Shimako, renouncing a lifetime of happiness for years of solitude and misery because I made the wrong decision… No more, Kanako. I'm done with that. I want to be like Yoshino and Rei who were true to one another from the beginning… Those two are the real heroes. The ones who weren't scared of proclaiming their feelings from the start! They are the ones we should strive to be more like. It's easy to be unhappy and drown in self-pity… I don't want to take the easy route…" her shoulders shook with each sob as tears dotted her soiled jeans, "When I broke that window, I noticed a blanket and a basket of food in the backseat of the car… then later on, when we were trying to identify the girls, I found a box with a ring in one of their jackets. My hearts hurt so much for thinking that they might have been heading to a special date and ended up in a ditch. My hearts hurt so much for thinking that there were important things that those girls might not be able to ask one another, and feelings they might not be able to share anymore…"

"Touko-chan…"

"I'm done waiting, Kanako. And to think I don't even know what I am waiting for makes things even worse!"

"Please," Kanako pleaded as a rush of tears blurred her vision, "Touko, stop!" She whimpered.

"I won't stop until you tell me you love me," Touko cried out.

"But."  
"Please! The brunette demanded through clenched teeth.

"Tou–"

"You never said it… You know… You never rea– "

"I love you," Kanako cut Touko's rant, "I have for a while. I don't know when it became more than friendship, but I think that's exactly why this is more than what I have ever expected from love. I never really fell for you. There was never a specific moment that sparked within me letting me know I had fallen for you. And although that transformation was so subtle, it still flooded my heart completely with a love that is so strong, I can't even explain properly." With that last sentence Touko's lips crashed upon Kanako's, though this time Kanako wrapped her arms around the brunette's small waist, bringing her even closer. Touko's lips parted, welcoming Kanako's shy but daring tongue, which explored ever so slowly the other girl's mouth. Touko's lips tasted of coffee, her hair smelled like hospital, her skin like ether and to Kanako those were the most incredible fragrances, because… well… they came from Touko.

As the bathroom door slowly opened and Touko's figure appeared wrapped in a towel, Kanako was brought back from the memory of their first kiss.

"You made coffee?" Touko asked.

"Yeah, I can get you some if you want?"  
"I just brushed my teeth… I'll get some after I fix my hair. Is everyone still asleep?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you been sitting here for?"  
"I don't know… Ever since _Cannon in D Minor_ started to play,"

"Kan-chan,"

"Yes,"

"It's been on repeat… the entire time…"

"Oh… Just like I did that day…"

"And just like you did that day, you didn't pay attention."

"…All I could think of was you, Touko."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N:This is a Rosa Gigantea-heavy chapter. The blonde Rosa Gigantea! I feel as if I cannot tell Noriko's story without dabbing into Sei's first. Their hearts - at least the way I see them - are heavily interconnected.

Thank you for reading!

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter V

Noriko's eyes peaked at Kanako for a split second before she covered them with her blanket once again, and as she drifted back into sleep she couldn't help but inhale the deep aroma of freshly brewed coffee coming from the kitchen. With such magnitude, the scent that roared the morning anew was also quick to reach Sei's nostrils, and the woman, ever so gently untangled the legs and arms that cuddled a former Rosa Chinensis possessively throughout the night. Youko didn't fight, knowing that like many other occasions, Sei would get her way no matter what – it was only a matter of time. The blonde, free from Youko's arms, immediately missed the warmth that the dark-haired woman provided. Though as if possessed by a higher force, Sei pushed herself off the couch and stepped onto the floor.

"EEEP!" Whimpered a very sleepy and still slightly intoxicated voice.

"Riko!" Sei whispered.

"Noriko?" Youko also squealed as she sat on the couch she shared with Sei that night.

Noriko sat up on the floor and watched the two women squirm, "Yeah?" she finally questioned.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Sei asked.

"Sleeping… What else would I be doing here?"

Youko stood up and walked toward the kitchen, "Why?" she asked, then opening a cabinet door and retrieving three mugs the woman proceeded to pour coffee and sugar into them. All the while Sei sat back on the couch, silently watching Youko's every move as she handled the coffee situation.

"Nana is in Rei and Yoshino's room, and I didn't want to bug Sachiko and Yumi or Kanako and Touko," Noriko finished, standing up and walking to the dining table where Youko had placed the coffee mugs she had stirred. Sei also grabbed her mug, taking a sip of the much anticipated liquid even before sitting by Noriko.

"Noriko…." Sei started, but Noriko was quick to stop the blonde from continuing,

"Do you guys remember what happened the last time you tried to pull this nonsense?"

"…"

Noriko took the silence as a yes, then continued, "Does everyone know?"

Sei said nothing but the shake of her head and the smirk toward Youko spoke for the both of them.

"How long?" Noriko asked.

"Three years," Youko answered.

"Three years!" The dark-haired girl whispered exasperatedly, lifting her hand and holding up three fingers. "Oh. No. No. No. No. No way!"

"…"

"The reception, and everyone was there, and Youko was there, and…" Sei took a deep breath and looked at Youko, "I want to be happy, Noriko. That's the bottom line. I've always known that Youko had this extraordinary capability of mending my heart. But I was always so absorbed by my own sorrow that I never really paid attention to everything else that this woman is capable of doing to it." Sei had for so long been engrossed by the brokenness of her heart that she had closed her eyes –and her heart – to anyone that had romantic intentions toward her. "For the longest time I refused to see that Youko," Sei pointed at the woman across from her, "is actually my heart. When I was done looking at my scars and feeling bad for myself, I finally looked up and she was there."

"Whom did you tell?"

"Rei and Yoshino," Youko responded.

Noriko shook her head, "That's it?"

"For now," Sei responded as Sachiko stepped into the kitchen, walking straight to the coffee pot, "What's for now, Satou?" the Ogasawara heiress probed.

Sei looked around the table, then back up to Sachiko and answered with a smirk, "The fact that I have been making sweet love to your Onee-sama for the past three years and you had no idea."

"Sei-sama!" Yumi couldn't help but blush at the absurd words coming out of Sei's mouth.

"Onee-sama?" Sachiko looked at Youko with questioning eyes, "What's going on?"

"I'm afraid you have heard it correctly," Youko answered calmly.

"Heard what?" Yoshino questioned as she and Nana sat at the table by Noriko and Rei joined Sachiko.

Yumi's eyes grew large as she answered her friend's question, "That Youko and Sei are going out again!"

"Oh, that?" Yoshino replied nonchalantly.

" Yoshino!" Yumi countered.

"What? Are you guys seriously surprised?" Yoshino asked.

"Surprised about what?" Touko questioned, also making her way into the kitchen with Kanako in tow.

Sachiko handed Touko a mug, then while refilling Kanako's she started, "That Sei and Onee-sama - "

"Are sleeping together?" Kanako interrupted.

"Kan-chan!?" Touko gasped.

"What? Did you not know? I've seen them make out almost every time we went out together, for several years now. And this morning I couldn't tell whose legs were whose when they were on the couch… I figured everyone knew…"

"How long?" Touko asked.

"About three years." Sei responded.

"So since the… Oh my lord, were you guys… in our wedding?"

"Those were happy times, Touko-chan!" Sei replied

"Tell us how it started," Noriko asked flatly.

"Yes. Tell us, Satou," Sachiko said, pulling a chair and sitting by the kitchen island, quickly being joined by Rei who had served Nana and Yoshino before pouring herself a cup.

"Youko?" Sei looked for approval.

"I don't mind."

"Well. It's kind of a long story…"

Noriko put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her clasped hands, "I don't have any plans for today," she said matter-of-factly.

"Okay…. Well…"  
"…"

"Sei!" Youko scolded the woman, "today!"

Sei quickly adjusted herself in her chair and started, "Ok. So, Youko is a difficult woman to please, if you guys couldn't tell by now, but she sure knows what she wants in life and she makes sure she voices her opinion about her wants."

Sei's story began with the night Shiori left her waiting at the train station. Youko and her Onee-sama had rescued her, stuffed her face with cookies and taken her to Youko's house. Nothing could cure a broken heart faster than sugar and late-night movies.

In the middle of that night, Sei tapped Youko on the shoulder and she agreed to go on a walk with the blonde. It was a cold and windy night, the trees stood there, stripped from their leaves, as bare as Sei's heart felt at that particular moment. The two friends walked a ways and sat on a bench by a light that flickered on and off. "I think our silence spoke a tremendous amount about what was going on, not only in my heart but also in Youko's. That night, Youko was the one who broke the silence first," and at that moment Sei wished with all of her heart for Youko to take back the words that ran out of the haven-haired woman's mouth more like a rant full of rage than anything remotely close to a love declaration.

Sei chuckled from across the table, anticipating what she was about to do. Leaning forward to where Youko was sitting across from her, she pointed a finger at the dark-haired woman like she was about to admonish her, then she raised her voice, "I know you're hurting and she didn't have the right to do that to you. She doesn't deserve your love and all the tears you've shed. She wasn't capable of seeing how amazing you are, Sei… I know this is too soon and I might be making a huge mistake right now, but I see you. All of you."

Sei withdrew her finger from Youko's face, sitting back on her chair, "To this day I still tell her that 'I love you' would've been a better option." For years, Youko wisely repeated that 'I love you' would've been the beginning and the end of everything. Many moons later, Sei had finally understood the implications of that declaration at such an early stage by Youko, especially under the circumstances building up to the quite bold – and somewhat ambiguous – confession.

Sei told Youko that it was too early for her to think straight about anything, "and that I was lucky to have her as a friend – what I stupid, stupid move, right?"

Youko went on to date a few people before she graduated from Lillian and Sei… didn't. "Well, I crushed on Yumi for a millisecond there, but then realized I needed someone to actually whip me into shape and not pat me on the head when I was being a hysterical brat," Sei finished, looking at Sachiko and smiling. "I really didn't date anyone till Kei."

Accepting Katou Kei's advances was Sei's way to cope with the fact that Youko had turned her down during their freshman year of college. "The funny part is that out of all places, it happened on Lillian grounds…. Remember that fair with Kanako's dad and all of that? Yeah… so, after all of that happened I walked Youko to that Sakura tree that's squeezed between the gingkoes, and boy that tree was blooming beautifully. Out of all the years I spent at Lillian I had never seen that tree so full of petals. I thought… you know, the last time we had talked about feelings was winter, and my heart was withered like the trees that surrounded us that night, so I was excited to actually notice the new season and the colors that it actually sprung." Youko and Sei sat under that Sakura tree yet again silently and yet again Youko was the one who spoke first: 'I'm getting married,' Sei's heart exploded inside her chest. The blonde's lips quivered and her jaw locked in a failed attempt to hide the pain. Her eyes, on the other hand, betrayed her when they filled with tears that trickled down her face. Sei wanted to die – again.

Youko went on to clarify some things: who and when and how the announcements would be handled and all the major details of the ceremony. When Youko was done Sei stood up and helped her up, "and as she stood in front of me, I kissed her… because I knew that no words coming out of my mouth at that moment would either make sense or stop her from doing what she wanted to. Youko gets what Youko wants, after all." Needless to say, she pushed Sei away saying things that opened Sei's eyes even wider to the fact that she had grown to be a coward… "She also said things like, 'I couldn't wait for you forever,' and 'stop messing with my heart,' and 'please, don't make this more difficult than it has to be.' Normal Youko sayings… Nothing too out of the ordinary, you know. You guys have probably heard some good sayings come out of her mouth one time or another…"

After the damage was done, Sei started to walk away, "but then she grabbed me, swung me around and kissed me! I kissed her back, thinking that was her way to say goodbye to me, and truthfully, I was more than okay with that, because at least the woman had the decency to bid me farewell properly…" Regardless, Sei walked through those Lillian gates empty handed and broken-hearted yet again…

Youko watched Sei take a long sip of her coffee, taking advantage of the brief pause to ask her friends if they needed a refill, "Anyone need more sugar or milk?" The dark-haired woman added, feeling for a moment as if a Yamayurikai meeting was taking place. Hearing replies from Yoshino, Touko, as well as Sei and Yumi, Youko brought the sugar and milk to the table then the coffee pot, re-filling everyone's mugs.

Sei decided to continue while she watched some of the girls add sugar and milk to their drinks, "As soon as I stepped through those gates I called Kei and she told me to come over… She made me tea and listened to my stories and was someone I could rely on at that time, so I decided to give that relationship a shot. I didn't want to miss out on things because I was scared or thought I wasn't ready anymore, you know…

Sei woke up early the next morning so she could go back to her dorm, shower and pick up her books before her first class. She stopped by the coffee shop across from Lillian to grab a cup of coffee and when she was on her way out, she saw the newspaper with the wedding announcement on it. "You know… when I heard it from Youko, there was something inside of me that hoped she was just making it up to get back at me for being an idiot through all of those years, but actually seeing it written on the paper…written on the entire stack of newspapers… that's a complete different feeling." She lifted all of them and looked at each one just to try soaking the information in. Sei was late for class that morning, "… and then I didn't even bother going to class the next day. Yumi called me that night and we talked for a little bit. I never really thought I'd be on the same boat as her, and out of a sudden there we were, mourning a love that had died because we were terrified of trying to give life to it."

The biggest difference between the two friends was that Yumi was strong and stood by Sachiko's side even though her heart was killing her. Sei withdrew from Youko. "I didn't answer her calls, text messages, e-mails… I even pretended not to be in my dorm room several times when she decided to stop by. Then I basically hid in Kei's house for months and wouldn't leave till late at night."

Kei didn't mind and Sei was thankful for the brunette's understanding. Fall turned into winter with a speed Sei couldn't fathom. Then winter gave way to spring and spring became summer in a blink of eyes. In the middle of that summer Kei finally said that she needed space. Sei thanked the woman for taking care of her, then up and left, spending a few weeks in Italy with Shizuka, then another month at the Todou shrine, "you know, cleaning steps and sweeping dead leaves."

When Sei decided to come back to the city, she contacted Yumi and they met up for tea, "Noriko also came along and I thought I was ready to go back to school and just live life… and that's what I tried to do. Fall rolled around and I decided to be normal again. You know, it was time."

Two months had already passed and Sei was walking out of class, getting ready to go get lunch when a very familiar voice stopped her on the hallway. "My heart dropped to my stomach. I did the math in my head quickly and realized that we were, give or take a few weeks, six months away from the wedding."

The realization didn't settle well with Sei's stomach, "and I actually had to rush back into the classroom, straight to the trashcan, where I lost my breakfast." After rinsing her mouth out and finding a piece of gum at the bottom of her backpack, Sei followed Youko to the cafeteria and the two estranged friends sat there, facing each other and pretending to enjoy a can of tea in silence, till once again Youko spoke first. "She told me that she tried to get a hold of me multiple times the past several months, that she was worried about me, that she thought about me a lot and finally that she loved me. Blew my mind, this girl. So I grabbed her by the hand and took her to my dorm, and…"

"Sei! They don't need to know what you did," Youko interjected.

"Ok…Ok!" Sei chuckled.

Youko called the wedding off around the same time Sachiko started to make plans for hers, "and that weighed heavily on both of us as we knew very well about Sa-chan and Yumi." Sei and Youko started to disagree on a several things regarding the quite chaotic situation the entire Yamayurikai was invoved in. Sei couldn't handle being quiet, though Youko, out of everyone, decided that meddling would have made things even more unbearable. "This woman! I told her I couldn't watch that situation and I think I felt responsible in a way for Yumi's loss of hope. I became distant and told Youko it was better if we separated."

The couple broke up the day before Sachiko's wedding, going their separate ways for a while. Although, Sei had promised she wouldn't keep Youko away anymore. Youko was the first person Sei asked for help when she tried, very unsuccessfully, to make Noriko stay.

"In a way I am happy I failed. Noriko went on to become an amazing woman; beautiful, smart, well-read… Ok, I'm getting off track here… So, I dated, she dated, we all dated which takes us to the Matsudaira-Hosokawa reception... Well, which takes us to the week before the Matsudaira-Hosokawa reception, when we took a quick trip to Boston."

"What the –" Yoshino started but was quickly silenced by Rei's hand, so Sei could continue, "Well, Sa-chan had a meeting in Sapporo and Yumi was stuck kissing some investor's ass, so the only red rose available was Youko, and who could've been a better translator for this beautiful woman, than me?!"

"But Youko-sama speaks English fluently," Nana said.

"Ah. I didn't say she _needed_ one."

"Sei…" Youko sighed.

"Okay… Okay… So, we all stayed at Noriko's, and Youko got to be one of the witnesses and when all was said and done I really missed spending time with my best friend…"

When the trip to Boston had come to an end, Sei thought about Youko day and night. "Her smile never left my mind. She held my hand only once during that entire trip, and the places her fingers touched made my skin burn for days." Sei called Youko every day during that following week, though they were both busy with work and weren't able to see each other till their friends' reception.

"The wait almost killed me and if that wasn't enough, I started to shake when I saw her. Do you guys remember what she was wearing?" From the blue dress to the high heels; from the small and delicate bracelet to the small earrings, Youko looked stunning and Sei was dumbfounded just looking at her. When Youko closed the distance between them, standing in front of Sei with a smile that could brighten that entire room, the Blonde's heart melted! "She hugged me, and I was paralyzed. I thought… How could I have let someone like her walk away from my life? You know… we had disagreed about things that we thought were fundamentally important, but had we not, maybe Sachiko and Yumi wouldn't be together today. I wanted to shake those two, Youko wanted to wait. Like always I was impatient and reckless and I had lost the woman I loved because I couldn't be still…"

And there Youko was, unwrapping her arms from around Sei's shoulders when Sei grabbed her by the waist and brought Youko near her once again. Youko gasped, "I'm pretty sure I squeezed her a little too tight, but even so, she didn't say a word." Youko patiently waited for Sei's eyes to slowly travel across her face, imprinting every detail of it in a corner of the blonde's memory that was reserved for Youko and Youko alone. She waited as Sei photographed with her mind the dark specs that floated around the center of Youko's eyes, her perfect nose, her laugh lines, and finally the lips that once belonged to Sei.

That time Sei was the one who broke the silence, 'I love you,' the blonde finally said for the first time after so many years… Youko grabbed Sei by the hand and dragged her into the kitchen; there was food everywhere, trays overflowing with cups filled to the brim with wine and champagne. In their frantic rush, Sei spotted a walk-in fridge and she propped it open with a chair before dragging Youko in. "I leaned her against a million bags of lettuce and… I…kissed… her." Sei kissed Youko with passionate longing, and with a voracity from years of waiting – for the right place and the right words and the right time, when 'right' was just a word, irrelevant when love was supposed to surpass those superfluous excuses. "It was amazing… but brief because a waiter walked in on us… so we walked around the venue and ended up in the parking garage, and since none of us had driven that day, we settled when we found the limo." Sei finished with a very impish smile, getting up from the table and announcing she was ordering food right when her stomach grumbled loudly, like a dying frog, much like Yumi's did in the Rose Mansion years upon years ago.

* * *

A/N: I have accidentally broken one of my writing rules - to never re-read a chapter that has already been posted - and the punishment I get is having to re-upload this chapter. Fortunately I had realized what I had done after the first paragraph, so the only change is the correct spelling of the word 'occasionally.' I apologize for any other misspelling errors. 10/7


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This chapter marks the half-way point of this story. It is also the longest chapter so far!

I've gotten a few reviews and really appreciate the time some of you took to shoot me a quick message. I was wondering if this is still okay and hoping people are not bored reading it. What do you guys think so far?

Once again, thank you, everyone, for stopping by!

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter VI

Noriko spent a few weeks with Touko and Kanako, recovering from her yearlong expedition, catching up on sleep and eating the foods she missed the most. When she actually felt rested and ready to face the world again, she traveled, mainly rural areas, trying to capture the essence of people who lived off the land. Noriko found uncomplicated people fascinating and so she ended up working for a very small rice farmer for a month before actually going back to the city. To Noriko, the time she spent at that family's farm, during the last leg of Tokyo's summer, had as much effect on the healing of her tired soul as the days she spent at Touko and Kanako's had on her body.

When she returned to Tokyo, she stopped by the university to sign her contract and meet the Dean she would be working under. That same day Noriko settled in her old room at her aunt's house, where she promised to stay until she found a place near the university. She visited with Sumireko-san for a few hours before excusing herself for she had promised Sei she would meet up with her that Friday night for drinks and 'the greatest food in Tokyo.'

 _Really, Sei-sama?  
_ Noriko stood in front of the bar's entrance making sure the address written on top of the door matched the address Sei had given her earlier through a text. A pair of old ripped jeans and a plain white shirt on, Noriko slowly made her way through all the boys wearing similar outfits. Once the dark-haired woman saw Sei leaning back at a very comfortable booth in a corner, she shook her head wondering how in the world could the blonde have gotten an entire booth all for herself during such a busy night _._ As Noriko prepared herself to sit by the blonde, Youko's voice travelled across the air almost louder than the music that was blasting through the speakers, "No-ri-ko..." At that particular moment, when the light hit all of the right places, Youko looked beautiful: a breathtaking tight-jean and suit-jacket wearing version of Maria-sama.

Youko halted her steps and looked at the younger woman up and down before approaching the table, placing four beer bottles upon it, "please, tell me you didn't wear those jeans when you sign your contract today…"

"Yes, I did." Noriko responded, a bit confused by Youko's question.

"Did they ask to see your ID after you introduced yourself as Nijou-sensei?"

" They… d-did…"

"No wonder!" Youko huffed, "pardon me, Nijou-sensei, but you look like you just got out of prison."

Sei tried to stop Youko, but the woman wouldn't have any of it, "If you learned, Sei, then Noriko will have no problem retiring the jeans and picking up a few pairs of slacks." She turned her attention to Noriko, "If you don't play the part properly, your students will eat you alive!"

Noriko contemplated Youko's words for several moments while watching a few boys order drinks and talk to each other by the counter near them. When her eyes finally focuses upon Youko once again, Noriko had understood," I guess I haven't really thought about the fact that I look as young as the students I'll teach. A nice wardrobe might be a step toward the right direction."

Sei shook her head in disbelief of the interaction between Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Gigantea, "Youko…" Youko's gaze moved from her beer to Noriko, then back to Sei.

"You know," Youko started, "I'm just making this a big deal because I want you to succeed," the former Rosa Chinensis finished.

"I see," Noriko's acknowledgment didn't keep Youko from continuing to explain that Japan is not America and that in order to be recognized professionally, Noriko would have to at least play the part, "Once you walk through those gates, you're Nijou-sensei. You have to assume that persona, own that title."

Sei decided to sit back, listening to Youko's teachings, all the while drinking her beer and continuing to shake her head.

"Almost like the persona we all assumed when we walked through the gates of Lillian," Noriko added, watching Sei roll her eyes.

In reality, none of the girls were perfect maidens, though they played the part to such an extent that in a way, for many, they had indeed become the perfect daughters their parents expected them to be.

"Exactly," Youko said, taking a sip of her beer and then pointing the bottle toward Noriko before continuing, "With this concept, us, as Grand Soeurs, were able to use the identities we had developed in order to teach our little sisters what we thought was right… And… although you didn't have that experience, I am sure you saw the way we all dealt with our Petite Soeurs. You should use that idea, Noriko, as a blueprint when you go into the classroom."

"I guess you should listen to her, Riko," Sei finally smiled, "She dealt with the worst little sister of all and was somewhat successful."

"Hey! I would like to think I was very successful in rearing my little sister."

Noriko laughed, thinking of Sachiko and wondering how horrible the woman's temperament might have been before Youko broke her down and Yumi built her back up, and for a second, the dark-haired woman thanked Maria-sama for meeting Sachiko after Yumi came along.

Sei snapped her fingers bringing Noriko's mind from drifting again. The blonde was standing up and tucking her shirt back in, while Youko seemed to have disappeared through the doors and into the busy street, "Come on, child, we're needed down the road."

Noriko didn't understand what 'down the road' really meant, but like a good sport she stood up and followed Sei across the bar and out the door. Youko stood outside, head down, texting, when Sei walked behind her and whispered something in her ear. Noriko stared at the interaction for a moment but then decided to give the couple a second of privacy by looking down the road, toward the bright lights and the loud voices coming from the same direction. In the midst of so many distractions, Noriko's eyes focused on three women walking up the road, and still holding on to the door that gave access to the bar, she watched as the three women stumbled through that open door and into the bar without saying a word or acknowledging Noriko's existence. The dark-haired woman lifted an eyebrow but then laughed inwardly at the ridiculous thought that had crossed her mind.

"Are we going up or down?" Noriko asked, while the door shut behind her and she watched the former Rosa Chinensis power off the screen of her cellphone and point north.

"Toward the lights, Nijou-sensei."

The three former roses walked down the road, through pockets of men and women who stood outside bars and restaurants smoking and finishing their beers until Sei sped up her pace then spun around toward Youko and Noriko before spreading her arms open, "Ready?" she offered.

"For?" Noriko questioned.

"The best food in Tokyo!"

Noriko looked at the woman standing in front of her up and down then to Youko who leaned against a light poll, arms crossed, grinned at the blonde's antics.

"It's closed," Noriko finally uttered.

"Not for us," Sei fished out a set of keys from her pocket and proceeded to unlock the door. Once inside, the blonde stuck her head out and invited Noriko in as Youko had already stepped inside, "You coming or not?"

The dark-haired woman shook her head then followed Sei in.

Inside the small western-style café of six tables and four booths, Noriko spotted her friends sitting along the sushi bar.

"What's on the menu for tonight, Nana-chan?" Sei asked the woman from across the bar, who at that moment, realizing Sei had walked in, had turned around to pour the oldest of the Gigantea sisters a pint of beer, "Rei and I made burgers, meat and veggie! We tried to make some curly fries also but they didn't turn out as good as we expected, so we settled for thick cut fries."

Rei, who was at that particular moment bringing out a tray full of sandwiches chided, "We figured Noriko would be craving some greasy food by now."

"It's Nijou-sensei for you, Rei-chan…" Yoshino jokingly admonished the older woman.

The blonde turned around and squinted at her cousin and wife, "Then you should call me Hasekura-sensei from now on, my dear."

"Call me Touko-sensei, please, Yoshino," Touko smiled before continuing, "you can also call Kanako, Kanako-sensei and Onee-sama, Yumi-sensei, and Sachiko-one-"

"Ice-Princess-sensei!" Sei said as she stopped Touko from finishing.

"Satou-san! I didn't even say anything against you!"

"But you're so easy to annoy, Sa-chan!"

"Sei-sama…" Yumi pouted, snuggling closer to Sachiko, "please, don't be mean to Sachan… Now, come over here so I can give you a hug!" Yumi's bright smile made the entire room shine.

The women sat at the bar eating while Noriko was informed that the restaurant was Nana's, – the one she heard so much about through Yumi, Touko and Kanako – although Rei played a very important role in developing an ever-changing menu that was rotated seasonally, according to the local vegetables and meats that were available. Nana explained in detail how the layout of the place was carefully designed by Yumi, and that Sachiko and Yumi were also partners in that project. "Yumi and I believe that Nana is an amazing chef, and we were happy that we had the means to help make all of this a reality. We're very excited that the place is well known around this area. It makes us happy and gives us an excuse to be even more involved in these girls' lives," Sachiko said, looking at Yumi and smiling.

Yoshino, a proud Onee-sama, explained that Rei's cooking was very influential in Nana's decision to pursuit the culinary arts and not a physical education degree like Rei had done, "It's amazing how things just worked out as such, that the connection we have has remained strong even after all of these years. Nana helps with the Kendo and we're very much a part of this crazy dream of this amazing Petite Soeur that literally was bulldozed by me in that bathroom when I was trying to hide from Eriko-sama so long ago," Yoshino finished with a grin as Rei, standing behind the always very talkative and opinionated teacher, enveloped her arms around the petite woman's figure and rested her chin on her shoulders.

"And Eriko-sama?" Noriko questioned.

"Eriko shows up when she can. Between her work and kids, the woman has a lot in her plate and juggles everything like a champ!" Sei answered.

Noriko looked around, soaking in the fact that the girls around her had blossomed beautifully into successful, hard-working women. The soon-to-be university professor stood, grabbing herself another sandwich, then she walked around the counter, entering the bar and standing there, back toward her friends as she poured herself another pint of lager, she then asked, "And Shimako-sama?"

"Shi-Shimako-sama… Shimako-sama," Nana stuttered.

Yoshino also tried unsuccessfully, "Noriko-san…"

"Last time I heard, she had left the Convent. That was quite a while ago. Maybe five, six years." Rei admitted, knowing that even though Noriko had avoided the subject for so many years, she had the right to know at least some things.

Yumi's sweet voice pierced through Noriko's ears as if the always gentle woman was screaming at the top of her lungs, "The last time Sachiko and I saw her I think she was in town visiting her dad. She asked about you, I remember like it was yesterday, Sachiko just saying you were somewhere in America."

"It was not our business to meddle," Sachiko added.

"Sei-sama?" Noriko's questioned.

"In all truthfulness, she wanted to go look for you. As soon as she left the Cloister she begged me to tell her where you were. Just like Sa-chan, I told her you were somewhere in the U.S. and that it wouldn't make any sense for her to go look for you. She left Tokyo, but once in a while would come back. I'm not going to lie to you, Noriko, she still reaches out, every time she does, she ask about you," Sei finished, chugging the remainder of her beer.

Youko, who had been quietly watching the situation unfold decided to add, "I've seen her a few times throughout the years walking the streets of Tokyo and visiting shrines in this area."

For many years Noriko had avoided the subject, and her friends made sure not to mention Shimako. The omission of information was indeed intentional in the beginning: anything to keep Noriko's mentally sane. As years went by, not speaking of the blonde had turned into an unspoken rule. To everyone, Noriko was in charge; it was up to her to ask – and she never did until that night.

"Thank you for telling me the truth… and for protecting me and consequently my future. If it wasn't for everything that happened, today I wouldn't be where I am professionally," Noriko bowed, then continued, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I might need fresh air." the dark-haired woman turned around and left the restaurant in a hurry, failing to acknowledge the 'wait' calls from within the small establishment.

Outside, Noriko breathed in the thick air filled with cigarette smoke and fried food fumes coming from the carts that flooded the sidewalks. She crossed the road heading back up the street and as she approached the bar she had met Sei and Youko at, she walked in. Noriko found a seat at the bar near the pool tables and the bathrooms, _worse comes to worst, I can bolt to the ladies room_ , she thought before getting the attention of the barkeep.

"What kind of shot?" The older woman asked, "Jack, please," Noriko replied. A few minutes later the woman on the other side of the bar placed an imperial stout and a caramel-colored liquid in front of Noriko. The former Rosa Gigantea took a few large gulps off her beer then drank the shot. Clasping her hands and placing her elbows on the counter she watched a few guys dance at one side of the bar while others talked loudly about the soccer game that played on the corner T.V. The dancing and conversations couldn't keep her from turning when a woman about her age sat at a stool near her, trying very poorly to get the barkeep's attention.

"What are you drinking?" Noriko tried to help.

"Gin and tonic," The woman replied, giving Noriko the money she held in her hands. Noriko took two bills out of the messy wad then handed the money back to the woman, "No, please order yourself something."

Noriko crooked her head at the woman's antics, "I already have a drink."

"You can order yourself a new one!" The woman answered, then watched Noriko flag the barkeep with ease and order the drink.

Noriko watched the barkeep pour the gin over ice and top it with tonic with such a precision, it was clear that the woman had done that a few times before. When the drink was placed in front of Noriko with skeptical eyes, the former Rosa Gigantea picked the cup up and still looking at the barkeep, she placed the drink in front of its rightful owner, "Here's your shitty-ass drink,"

"Shitty?" came the awaited question.

Noriko had pulled a Sei, – and she was proud of it – and knowing she had pulled a Sei quite successfully, she turned to regard the new acquaintance.

"Tastes like shit, doesn't it?"

"In a way you might be right."

"Then why do you drink it?"

"I… I don't know. I usually stick with what I know."

"And all you know is gin an tonic?"

Noriko watched as the woman looked at her drink then toward the tower of liquor against the wall then back to Noriko.

As pulling a Sei required, the former Rosa Gigantea finished her beer, stood up and placed a few bills under her empty cup.

"Let me buy you another drink!"

The Sei had never failed.

"Why?"

Noriko wasn't as good as Sei, after all.

"Because… I would like to." The woman answered calmly, to Noriko's amazement. "Please, have another beer," she continued.

Noriko looked around and then back at the stool she was sitting on, tapping lightly on the rim of the glass when the barkeep looked at her. "Coming right up, the older woman said and proceeded to pour Noriko another stout."

"You remind me of someone I knew a long time ago," the woman started as she watched Noriko adjust herself on the chair so she could face her.

"Is that so?"

"From high school, when I didn't even think about drinking shitty gin and tonics," the woman finished with a smile on her face.

"And that's what? About two years ago?"

"Beautiful _and_ has a sense of humor!"

Noriko's left leg shook, a very un-lady-like impulse she had developed through the years, "Thanks."

"So, where did you go to university, Miss Dark Beer?"

"Why do you assume I went to college?"

"I didn't mean to pr– "  
"Okazaki," Noriko spilled forth.

"I see."

"You?"

"I went to a small private university here in the Tokyo area. But then I moved to Sapporo for my graduate and post-grad. work."

"Should I be calling you sensei, then?"

"No need for that!"

"So, what should I call you?"

"Shimako. Todou Shimako"

Noriko was right. From the moment the woman walked into the bar with her friends as the dark-haired woman held the door and watched her: long, blonde locks curled perfectly, bouncing against the woman's back with every step she took, and those hazel eyes that much like Sei's had once, carried the weigh of a lifetime of mistakes and regrets. Noriko wasn't used to the laugh lines and the small crinkles that appeared by Shimako's eyes when the woman smiled, though those additions just made the woman's beauty all the more human.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Todou-sensei,"

"Just Shimako is fine."

"Shimako-sama…" Noriko bowed.

"And you are?"

"Naru… Sakurai."

"Sa-Sakurai…Naru…"

"Do you not like my name?"

"Oh, please forgive me if my tone of voice implied that! It's a beautiful name!"

Noriko lifted her hand from her beer for a split second then pointed at Shimako's drink and the barkeep was quick to pour another gin and tonic, bringing it back to the couple.

"Are you sure you don't want anything less… bitter?" Noriko asked.

"It suits me well, Naru-chan."

"You drink a shitty drink because you think it suits you well?"

"I guess…"

"Ma'am," Noriko raised her voice to get the barkeep's attention, "Yes," was the response she received. Shimako watched as Naru explained to the bartender what she wanted in a tall cup. The older woman then went back to the wall of colorful liquors, grabbing four bottles at once: vodka, gin, rum and peach schnapps, poured some of the liquid over ice in a tumbler then went back, retrieving two more bottles: triple sec and blue curacao. She then returned to the counter and repeated the process, pouring the liquor into the cup, lastly she cracked open a can of energy drink and topped the cup off with it.

"Here," The bartender handed the cup to Noriko, who slid it toward Shimako who hesitantly stared back at Naru.

"Drink it up…" Naru said, watching the blonde take a small sip followed by a much bigger gulp, "Delicious!" she smiled, then thanked the woman sitting by her.

Shimako drank two more of Naru's concoctions while she asked the dark-haired woman about her college major and what she did. Noriko bull-shit her way through it, in a very well done Sei impersonation – thank you, Sei. At the end of the night, the former Rosa Gigantea paid the tab, stood up and bowed to the blonde who was still sitting. This time she wasn't pulling a Sei.

"I… live down the road." Shimako whispered.

That was not what Noriko expected and there was silence: pure, awkward and long silence.

"I'm serious. You can take the couch! I live alone."

Noriko nodded and still in silence followed the woman till they reached a small apartment complex. Shimako stood in front of the door fighting to unlock it, though Noriko was the one who took the key from the blonde's hands and let them in. Only Maria-sama knew what Noriko was doing following a stranger home.

Noriko's rationale was that Shimako wasn't a stranger. Though if one was to really rationalize that situation, Shimako was the one taking a complete stranger home. Noriko knew who the blonde was, thought about that moment happening for years – in a different dimension or parallel universe, perhaps – and right there, at that exact instant, when things were just handed to her, she couldn't. When for so many years she conjured and was haunted by the ghost of Shimako, she couldn't. When for so many years all Noriko could do was to think of forgetting the blonde, she couldn't.

And she didn't.

As the kettle whistled in the kitchen and there was clinking of mugs being placed on a metal tray, Noriko knew she didn't have much time. She stood up from the couch and walked out the door, locking it before she actually exited the apartment, then she ran, as fast as she could toward her aunt's house, only stopping when she reached the front lawn. Kneeling on the grass she finally lost the fight against the tears that stubbornly spilled forth, and between sobs she also lost the food she ate and the drinks she had with the ghost of someone who she thought never deserved her heart.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thank you for reading! :)

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter VII

The small rays of sunshine piercing through the thick curtains slowly made their way across the floor and up Noriko's bed, reaching a dark-haired mess that lay under the covers. At least within the warmth of her comforter Noriko felt safe for the time being. She moved the covers over her face once the sun reached her eyes and bringing her knees to her chest she held on to her legs, exhaling a long, tired breath before closing her eyes tightly once more and falling back into much needed rest.

Not too long after Noriko had gotten comfortable again, her tired bones were awoken. Underneath her pillow, her phone vibrated twice with the text message from Youko;

 _Pick you up in 30!_

The former Rosa Gigantea powered off her phone and slowly sat up. Holding the covers around her shoulders she stood up and slowly made her way to the bathroom, only releasing herself from the warmth of the blanket when she finally reached the door. Once standing in front of the mirror Noriko preferred to look away. It wasn't the eyeliner that mixed with last night's tears painted a deep blue trail down the woman's face, nor it was the swollen, red eyes that made Noriko cringe, it was the fact that behind all of the physical damage there were layers of pain and confusion in Noriko's tired orbs. Nevertheless, pain, though small, was the woman's biggest worry.

Noriko showered and changed quickly, threw her hair up in a ponytail, replaced the contact lenses she had forgotten to take off the night before with black-rimmed glasses and walked down the stairs where Sumireko-san was waiting for her; cup of coffee in hand. Noriko thanked the woman and joined her at the table to drink the heavenly liquid while she waited for Youko.

The quietness didn't feel awkward to them; many were the mornings when Noriko had shared a silent breakfast with the older woman across from her. Her aunt's presence alone brought a wave of serenity to Noriko's troubled heart, words were superfluous in the presence of such love and caring.

Understanding very well that Noriko's heart had only belonged to Shimako, the older woman was the main reason Noriko was able to leave Tokyo so suddenly. Watching the younger girl at the time struggling to put one foot in front of the other was enough for Sumireko-san to agree that a change of scenery would help the healing process of Noriko's broken heart.

Youko joined Noriko and Sumireko-san for a cup of coffee and the women spent a good hour talking mainly about Sei and the woman's filter, or the lack thereof. Once the conversation died down, Youko and Noriko headed out, jumping in Youko's car, destination: somewhere Noriko was not very excited to go.

Youko had great taste in clothes – that, no one could deny - and so Noriko's anxieties melted away with every item Youko handed to the soon-to-be professor. The interaction between the former Rosa Chinensis and Noriko was worthy of being recorded. _This would be good What Not to Wear episode,_ Noriko chuckled to herself as she buttoned a blazer over a solid dark-blue shirt.

"We'll be done after this one, Riko," Youko smiled from the changing room as she watched Noriko button and unbutton the jacket, realizing all the younger woman needed was a little push in the right direction. A meddler, Youko could read people quite well and had a very sharp eye when the issue involved any of the Gigantea sisters. She knew Noriko was struggling with much more than just readapting to Japan's culture after so many years. The former Rosa Chinensis understood completely that the main source of Noriko's struggle was Shimako, and the fact that the reason Noriko left Tokyo in the first place hadn't been a nun for several years now.

Youko's heart went out to the woman in front of her; just the idea that there was a large possibility that Noriko would cross paths with Shimako one of theses days, made the always well-put woman take a deep breath and scratch the back of her head.  
"Sei's been rubbing off on you, Youko-sama."

Youko, realizing she had bee caught, decided to humor the younger woman, "I'm hoping that's a good thing…" The older woman immediately raised an eyebrow, a bit skeptical of what was coming her way.

Noriko stopped shuffling through a pile of shirts, moving her gaze toward Youko. The former Rosa Gigantea was never one to refrain from saying what was on her mind, no matter how harsh those words would sound, though she was also known for her many positive words of encouragement and willingness to help when her friends needed a push. All in all, in many aspects, Youko and Noriko were very similar.

"Makes people see you in a completely different light," Noriko finally replied.

"Then I guess it was worth waiting for her."

"Sei is a good woman, Youko-sama."

Youko, more than anyone else, knew that Noriko's words were true, though very underrated. Sei played the outcast for so long, when she actually became one she didn't know how to handle things. To have loved so deeply and lost that connection so quickly left the blonde's young heart severely damaged: wounds that even to this day Youko was able to feel. The physical scars, forever carved on Sei's ankles were caressed and kiss every night by Youko's loving lips. The Forest of Briars might not have been written by Sei, like Yoshino once speculated. Nevertheless, Sei had to walk through her own valley of thorns and fight her own demons in order to let go of the ghost of Shiori.

"Hmm hmm." Youko hummed, "Sei is to me what Yumi is to Sachiko and Kanako to Touko. Sachiko and Touko are functioning people by themselves. No one can deny they're very well educated women with a lot of potential, but Yumi and Kanako keep them leveled. And by leveling, I don't mean they hold them back, on the contrary, they contain the downs and help those two with their ups. They make Sachiko and Touko better people, more approachable, less in your face, more human. I do believe that those two changed because they realized that they needed to look at how their actions would affect their relationships before actually making decisions that could result in hurting the women they love and consequently hurting themselves. I was once talking to Sachiko and she mentioned that the majority of the compromises she makes are with herself and not with Yumi. I second her on that. Sei makes me see myself from her eyes, the good and the bad. I'm not saying I don't compromise with Sei. I am saying that the compromises with myself also happen more often because Sei gives me the ability to see the effects of my words and actions on her. It's a complicated matter. Changing and not changing at the same time."

Noriko nodded in understanding, "How much have I changed. I wonder..." she accidentally breathed out the words and Youko was quickly to respond, "Physically or cognitively?"

"I didn't mean to..."

Youko smiled, grabbing a hold of Noriko's hand and assuring that what she was about to say would be words of encouragement, "Riko-chan, You grew up to be a beautiful woman. Many were the times when I heard the girls say you would pass easily by Sachiko's sister. The longing eyes have always been there, but now the hair and the way you carry yourself – well, apart from the hideous jeans, of course – you really came out of your shell. Your essence won't change, Riko-chan, and so you will always be this witty, I-say-whatever-is-on-my-mind pain-in-the-butt. But everything that you have seen so far, in Japan and all of the other places you have visited, those experiences also made you who you are today. To me, though they made you a stronger and more independent woman, they also softened your heart and made you even more adorable – if that was even possible!"

The two women walked out of the store silently after Youko's words. Heading to the parking garage the breeze caressed Noriko's face and made her flyaways dance in the air, "Youko-sa-," she started only to be stopped by the older woman, "Food."

"Ok."

The quick drive took Noriko and Youko back to the same neighborhood they were the night before. Early dinner at Nana's meant no waiting in line for the two friends, and so Youko drove around a few times looking for a parking spot but only found one a few blocks away from the restaurant. The sun still shone and the neighborhood looked quite different during the day than at night, though the technicalities didn't keep Noriko from cringing when she shut the car door and looked around before falling into step with Youko. Each step Noriko took brought back crystal clear memories of the previous night, the chance meeting with Shimako, the drinks and the words that were exchanged. Though hurt and confusion still remained, the sudden realization that she wasn't angry anymore scared Noriko more than the fact that she was at that moment walking past the apartment she visited the night before.

"Riko," Youko whispered, placing her hand on Noriko's back, "We're almost there." The sweet words brought Noriko back from her thoughts and she quickly nodded her head and picked up the pace of her walk. Once inside the restaurant Youko motioned to Noriko to sit at the bar, excusing herself for a second so she could use the restroom. When the former Rosa Chinensis returned Noriko was already half-way through a dark stout Nana had poured her, "You don't waste time, huh, Riko-chan? If you keep it that up - "

"There won't be any left for you? Don't worry, I'll share!" Noriko replied quickly, knowing very well what Youko had meant.

Youko asked for a water and looked at the menu for several long minutes without uttering a sound. She then ordered food for the both of them and turning toward

Noriko, she examined her younger friend for a while before finally asking, "I'm going to assume you're not like this because of the clothes you bought today. Now, please stop me if I am prying too much, but… Are you worried of the possibility of stumbling upon Shimako?"

"I already did."

Youko raised an eyebrow and though no words came out of the former Rosa Chinensis, Noriko figured she needed to tell the tale of the previous night and so she did. She told Youko everything, from holding the door for the three women before heading to Nana's, to the urge she had to go back into the bar, "I knew it was her all along, but I just wanted to be completely sure, when she approached the bar and didn't even realize I was sitting there, I was baffled." Noriko proceeded to tell Youko about the drinks she ordered and then how she ended up at Shimako's apartment. Youko sat there, speechless for the time being, trying to grasp the concept of Noriko's interacting with her Onee-sama after so many years with such calm and composure. "She had no idea you were you?"

"Youko-sama, she called me by Naru and seemed very interested in the crap I was throwing at her. I'm not sure how much she has changed from high school, but I really think she was oblivious to the fact that it was me."

"I didn't know she had moved back to Tokyo. I'm sure Sei would have told me if she knew anything regarding her Petit Soeur… What are you going to do?"

Noriko stared at her food for a second, then sipped on her third beer and smiled looking down as she shook her head, "There's nothing I can do in a situation like this. It's clear that Shimako's heart doesn't belong to me anymore – if it ever really belonged to me at all. Youko-sama, after she joined the Cloister, I saw her face in every girl I talked to. My entire body shook when I saw someone with the same hairstyle walking in front of me. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was her smile. When I was by myself I'd hear her voice… I really think that if I had stayed in Tokyo I would've gone insane. To have had someone like Shimako in my life, whose warm embrace and sweet-spoken words were all I needed to survive, and have lost her to the Cloister, out of everything… I really think it proves that she lied to me when she promised me her heart was mine. Hence, the fact that she looked at me, straight in the eyes last night and couldn't see the same eyes that looked at her years ago and begged her to be open with her feelings."

"Noriko…"

"It's fine! It's completely fine! Looking back, Sei was still the only one of us that was really out. And though we were pretty sure there was something going on between Yumi and Sachiko, that didn't get resolved for years! There was always Yoshino and Rei… but since they were cousins no one really said anything about them. We didn't really have anyone to look up to…a couple we wanted to be like. All we had were stories about Sei and Shiori. To me, it was self-fulfilling prophecy, and though I begged her to trust me and told her things would end up fine, she was too scared to move."

At that moment Noriko had at last realized that it was the first time she had actually voiced how she felt about Shimako joining the Convent. Although, it didn't explain at all why she wasn't angry, the former Rosa Gigantea finally understood what moving on meant. She had finally came to the realization that Shimako's heart wasn't aware of her existence anymore. She also understood the reason why seeing Shimako again didn't shatter her heart for a second time. "It was never mended…" she whispered unconsciously, only to realize what she had done for a second time that day.

Lifting her head to meet Youko's eyes, she didn't wait for a question from the former Rosa Chinensis, "…For so long I thought about seeing her again. Sometimes I would come up with crazy plans to break into the Cloister, hunt her down, wake her up and make her come with me so we could have a chance to be happy. I wanted to shake her, make her see that I was crazy enough to do all of those things because my love for her was everlasting. But then time passed and so I came up with things to tell her, just in case I saw her again. I practiced that speech, repeated those words over and over again in my head because I didn't want to give her the pleasure of seeing my heart break once again. What I never really realized until now is that Shimako would never break my heart again, because it hasn't been mended to begin with…"

Youko listened to Noriko's words attentively and felt a tightening in her chest much similar to what she felt during the years she spent watching her feelings for Sei not being reciprocated. She stood up and told Noriko she was going to step outside with the excuse she needed to call her father. Once outside called Sei, telling the woman to come to Nana's as quickly as she could, "You're going to have to cancel whatever plans you have tomorrow, too," she added, before dropping the call and walking back into the restaurant. As Youko sat back on her chair she motioned for Nana to come over and explained that Sei was on her way to join them and that if need be they would leave their seats for actual patrons. Nana shook her head saying they could stay there till they wanted to as Youko as well as Sei held keys to the place. Sometimes, the perks of being someone's lawyer really made life much easier. Nana turned around after the conversation ended and poured Noriko her fourth stout, then handed Youko a glass of wine, "Do we also need shots?" The former Rosa Foetida asked her two friends, "You read my mind, Nana-chan!" Youko replied.

Half-an-hour later Sei walked in, wet hair, glasses, a pair of dark-wash jeans and a black t-shirt. Youko spotted the blonde and watched as she made her way through the few tables and finally stood behind the Rosa Chinensis' chair – Youko was and would always be Sei's Rosa Chinensis. Youko's heart pounded against her chest and she could feel the rush of blood that painted her cheeks red. Sei leaned toward the bar and Youko inhaled the scent of the woman she loved. She didn't want to make a big deal out of Sei's presence, as doing so would probably hurt Noriko even more, so Youko sat there, sipping on her wine with the poise only a Red Rose had. "Can I buy you a drink, pretty girl?" Sei teased. "No, you dirty old man!" Youko replied. Reaching forth, Sei grabbed a hold of Youko's lips and only let go of them quickly so she could finish the joke, "then this old man will settle for a kiss."

Sei hugged Noriko and asked Nana for two wells and a shot, claiming she had some catching up to do, "So, I hear we're making decisions tonight that will be regrettable in the morning," Sei took her shot and lifted both her drinks up, "I'll piss myself and lose my shoes if it means I get to spend some quality time with my favorite people!"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: My sincere apologies for taking so long to upload this chapter. Between life and my over-analyzing of words, it took me a couple of weeks to edit this to something I didn't think was complete rubbish!

Now, to me, Rei and Yoshino are amazing characters full of depth, but are usually ignored because their relationship, apart from the Yellow Rose Revolution, is quite stable compared to anyone else's. Nonetheless, since stability is something Noriko lacks -and perhaps, longs for- in this story, the life of these two Yellow Roses should be seen as important as looking into the life of someone like Sei for example.

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter VIII

Rei had finally settled down in her office, three thirty had come quickly –the greatest downfall of Monday was Sunday. Tournaments at the dojo usually meant an excessive amount of paperwork to filter through the next day and with Monday practices going at full speed because of school break, not even Nana's help could keep Rei away from the office all morning and afternoon.

Yumi had dragged Yoshino to lunch claiming she hadn't had 'quality time' with her best friend in weeks. Using the excuse Nana's restaurant was closed on Mondays, Yumi's speech was quite persuasive, though what always got Rei were the eyes. Who, in their right mind could resist those large, pleading chocolate orbs?

And that's why Rei sat in front of her computer by herself, inputting individual match scores then totaling team results. She would usually make a pot of tea so Yoshino and Nana could help themselves when they happened to stop by; however, with Yoshino gone and Nana teaching, Rei had settled for a single cup of tea, which steeped at that moment and somehow annoyed the blonde to no end, or maybe it was the fact that she, selfishly, missed having Yoshino hovering over her computer.

The teabag had been dunked and pulled out of the steaming water multiple times as if the motion would somehow expedite the steeping process. Three to four minutes felt like an eternity and when the tea was finally brewed, Rei let go of the teabag and grabbed the mug, though before she could finally take a sip of the much-anticipated drink, her phone rang.

There were only a few people who would call Rei's cellphone, especially in the middle of the day, so when the blonde finally reached for the device and answered, her voice couldn't help but falter, "Y-Yumi?" If the initial silence on other side of the line didn't immediately confirm Rei's concerns, the following, "Ro… Rosa Foetida…" did. Rei couldn't remember when it was the last time anyone in their right mind had called her by her rose name. The headache was instant.

"…It's Yoshino."

Rei held her breath waiting for Yumi to continue. Yoshino had scared the woman so many times going in and out of the hospital before her heart surgery, Rei knew that freaking out would just make matters worse, especially when Yumi was already stuttering on the other side of the line, "The car ride… and we were waiting and there was a whole bottle of wine… Rei-sama…"

"Yumi…" Rei interrupted, "where?"

"S-Saint Mary's."

"15 minutes."

Rei had already picked up her keys and walked out of the office before dropping the call. The weakest of the winds showered the sidewalks with red and yellow leaves as Rei exited the dojo and headed to her car.

Autumn held a special place in the blonde's heart all because of Yoshino. The quiet draft that messed Rei's hair brought with it memories of a similar time not long ago, when a certain short woman with long twin-braids scare made Rei cry from worry. As the blonde entered her car, a wave of uncertainties hit her much harder than what she was expecting, bringing a sick feeling to her stomach and a knot to her throat.

Maybe it was bad; maybe Yoshino was indeed in trouble and Yumi was just trying her best to sound optimistic – Yumi had called Rei 'Rosa Foetida,' after all. The Freudian slips, often seen through Yumi's high school career were long gone, only to be brought up by her friends when tales of the Yamayurikai were being told. Hoping that Yumi had given her the name of the correct hospital, the blonde drove away, sending Maria-sama a quick prayer and asking for the situation to be just another one of Yoshino's uprisings.

 _Yoshino, please... there's so much I haven't told you yet. So many things I still want to do with you. Be strong for me!_

Rei was an understanding sensei, a woman with a heart so big it could never run out love for her friends and family. She was a role model for many Lillian students, especially the ones who had the ability to know the real Rei, the one who knitted Yoshino scarves and gloves for Valentine's Day, the one who taught Shimako how to bake log cakes and Yumi how to make chocolates. Rei was the height of patience; yet, there was Yoshino, who somehow held this incredible ability to turn Rei's life upside down and inside out – not out of spite, of course, but out of the need to stand side-by-side with Rei.

 _Yoshino, wait for me…_

Speeding up to cross a yellow light, Rei thought about Yoshino's fascinating talent to push her buttons. The woman didn't even have to be around to have such effect. Even so, she felt a tug on her lips while remembering how terrified she was when Yoshino decided to have heart surgery, how scared she felt when Yoshino decided to join the Kendo Club. Whether it was resilience or stubbornness, Yoshino's decisions somehow always ended up surprising Rei, even after so many years of friendship and deeper declarations. A raft of other memories flooded the blonde's mind, a roller coaster of emotions that ultimately culminated in a love that had touched every single inch of Rei's heart.

When yellow turned to red, Rei stopped – she was a safe driver, after all. From her window she saw trees lining up a park across the road; some leaves unusually still green, others already brown: an indecisiveness that made late October all the more beautiful in the former Rosa Foetida's eyes. All of that indecisiveness, the colors and the smells of autumn, made Rei reminisce about one of Yoshino's biggest feats:

An uneasy feeling had made Rei step out of her dad's office grabbing a broom as she headed toward the dojo's entrance. Sweeping at that time of the year was an impossible task; the leaves covered the sidewalks and the grass, spilling over onto the street. Her dad, for many years had used the leaves as a form of punishment at the dojo, "Take a broom, sweep that attitude away," he would say. Rei had lost count of how many dozen of bags she had filled as a child, but as if her dad had instructed her yet again to sweep, she started.

Something bothered the woman: whether it was the premature wintery chill that had taken over Tokyo that year, the added responsibilities she would be acquiring when the dojo became hers, Yoshino's sudden apathy, or maybe a mixture of everything… the weird feeling in her stomach wouldn't go away. Fighting with the stubborn leaves outside; a simple attempt aimed toward appeasing Rei's tumultuous thoughts, ended up making her all the more angry and insecure about her decisions in life.

The dojo was already a done deal, taking over the business for her father had always been a dream of hers, and when the offer was presented, Rei took it without hesitation. However, getting to learn the needy-greedy side of it made Rei's resolve a bit shaky. Theoretically speaking, the blonde had all of the knowledge she needed in order to succeed; still, in practical terms, being completely on her own while dealing with behind-the-scene issues made her anxious. Even Sachiko had offered to help several times; the woman was busy, but never too busy for Rei. The former Rosa Chinensis had much respect toward Rei and the feeling was mutual. Nevertheless, Sachiko knew that in order for Rei to be all-in, she needed a certain stubborn brunette to be all-in with her.

Sachiko didn't want to pry, but she had a hunch that Yoshino was yet again tinkering with Rei's ability to follow through with her plans – Sachiko wasn't wrong. An enigma of sorts, the feisty teacher was yet to show any sort of interest in making their relationship official. Rei, more than anyone, wanted to protect the brunette; adding her name to the Hasekura family's directory would make Yoshino co-owner of the dojo, which in turn would give Yoshino full-rights over the business if something were to happen to Rei. Yoshino saw no need in doing such a thing - there was no sense of emergency as far as making things 'official' went. Rei, not wanting to poke any bears and re-live another Yellow Rose Revolution incident, decided to let the idea marinate for several months; however, not hearing anything back from Yoshino up until that moment had started to eat her up inside.

The first pile of leaves had been successfully bagged by the blonde when one of Nana's students came running out of the dojo, "Sensei! Sensei!" she screamed out of breath.

"What's wrong?!" Rei answered, still holding on to the bag of leaves.

"It's Yoshino, Sensei!" the kid answered.

The blonde immediately threw the broom on the floor and tossed the bag to the side letting all of the leaves scatter across the sidewalk. She ran past the small student without uttering a word and didn't stop until she reached the classroom.

Crossing the door's threshold, Rei took small steps until she reached the center of the tatami where all students stood in a circle. Her heart racing, her head consumed by a ringing that deafened the woman. Nana called for Rei, but in a trance, the blonde didn't acknowledge the girl.

The hurdle of students cracked, allowing Rei to see what she had already imagined but didn't want to be true: lying on the floor was Yoshino, one of her twin braids across her neck, the other hidden behind her back. Rei noticed that Yoshino used both hands to hold her kendogi tightly above her heart. The blonde felt her stomach churn but pressed forward, kneeling down by the smaller girl who had her eyes shut while she tried to catch her breath, "Yoshino," Rei started, landing a hand on the brunette's face, "I'm going to pick you up so I can take you to the hospital, ok? Just hold on to me," she took a deep breath as the fear of losing the woman of her dreams started to get the best of her, "I'm right here," she finally broke down as she cradled Yoshino in her arms and lifted the small girl from the floor, "Please!"

"Rei, it's ok," Yoshino wrapped one of her arms around Rei's neck and whispered.

"No, it's not okay! It's all my fault! Your heart and the dojo…"

"Rei!" Yoshino's voice was much louder the second time, making Rei halt her steps.

"Put me down," Yoshino asked.

"Yoshino!"

"Put me down!" She squirmed.

"But…"

"Now!"

Rei slowly brought Yoshino down to her feet and watched her stand and take a deep breath before grabbing the blonde by the hand and bringing her back into the circle of kendo students.

"Yoshino… your heart!"

Once inside the circle Yoshino answered Rei, "My heart, Rei… is strong today because of you."

"Yos–"

Before Yoshino continued, a very faded melody could be heard from across the dojo and the music became louder and louder as the violins approached the circle while Yoshino continued to explain, "It's because of the way you have treasured my heart all of these years that I am able to stand here in front of our students, in front of our friends today!" Because of your love, my heart is able to beat stronger. Each time you walk side-by-side with me is a time my heart rejoices and it longs for more days when you will hold my hand while we are out shopping, or that you'll tell me that you love me without a given reason."

Rei's blush had deepened with each word Yoshino said and as Yoshino took Rei by the hand once again, the blonde realized she wasn't the only nervous one; clammy hands ran in the family, after all. Rei smiled when Yoshino's eyes went front the hands she held to beautiful blue orbs that glimmered with each word uttered by the petite brunette. The blonde had finally spotted where the music was coming from when she looked to her side and saw Sachiko and Yumi playing the beautiful melody that echoed through the dojo. Rei wondered for a split second about who had come up with the violin idea, but then went back to looking into her favorite brown-eyes and as those brown eyes lowered with Yoshino's motion that got the young brunette to one knee, Rei's legs began to tremble.

"I love you because you are you, Rei. You are such an amazing woman with a heart so big that I sometimes have trouble trying to grasp this ability you have to love unconditionally. That's why, Hasekura Rei-chan, I want nothing more than for you to marry me. Please, baka, say yes?"

The light turned green and Rei press forward trying to shake the thought that something terrible had happened to the woman who had complete ownership of her heart.

As Rei stepped out of her car and ran toward the automatic doors, a colder wind blew reminding the woman that she couldn't wait any longer to start carrying a jacket for the temperature was dropping noticeably by nighttime. Her lungs, deprived of air, complained to the woman when she opened her mouth in order to address a nurse, "I'm-"

"Rei," a calm Sachiko interrupted from a coffee machine to the side of the reception desk, "this way," she continued, grabbing Rei's hand and guiding her toward the elevators across the way.

Rei didn't utter a word. She didn't have to. She let Sachiko walk her to the elevator, press the button and when the doors opened, they both stepped in, in complete and comfortable silence. Rei's tight grip on Sachiko's hand and the dark-haired woman's tighter hold spoke more than anything either friend could have said.

When the doors closed and Sachiko pressed the button leading to the fifth floor, Rei looked up at the Ogasawara heiress and finally stuttered, "Is she…"

"You worry too much, Rei," Sachiko answered.

"She wants to do a million things at the same time, and she kno– "

"She knows what?"

"Sachiko…"

"How many times have you been to the hospital after her surgery back in high school?" Sachiko asked, and hearing silence as an answer, she then continued, "Why are you assuming things? Yoshino's heart is as healthy as any of our hearts. Maybe even stronger than some of ours, because the woman she loves never broke hers."

Silence once again reigned between the friends as they walked through a maze of corridors until Sachiko halted her steps in front of room 514. Sachiko looked up and Rei questioned: "Then… what are we all doing here, Sachiko?"

"That's an answer you should get from your wife, not me."

Yoshino sat atop of the bed between Yumi and Noriko. The two women laughed at a story being told by Yoshino, who at seeing Rei and Sachiko enter the room, stopped in the middle of her sentence. The last giggle from Yumi still rang in the air as Rei approached the bed and stood in front of Yoshino.

"Yoshino, I thought y–"

"I'm sorry to make you worry, Rei-chan, I just had a spell and," Yoshino jumped off the bed and stood tall in front of Rei, before continuing, "I..I am sorry. I didn't want to worry you. I even told Yumi not to call you…"

Rei looked around. Her friends stood silently watching the interaction between the couple. So many years of friendship gave the women the unspoken permission to stay in the room. Yoshino reached for Rei's hand and looked deep into the loving blue eyes staring back at her before she explained to Rei that her collapsing had nothing to do with her heart and a bit more to do with her lack of sleep.

"I've been researching for the past month… I wanted to be sure before I told you…"

"Researching? Told me what?" Rei questioned.

"That I'm healthy enough to… have a baby with you!"


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hello! Long time no see! I hope everyone is doing well.

Apologizing for the long absence should be one of the first things I need to do - I am sorry!

Although this story already has a written end, I felt as if it needed a bit more "meat", which culminates in this chapter - the longest of all chapters so far!

It turns out this is a long, bumpy and jumpy chapter - this is a disclaimer and another apology.

I also must warn everyone that another one of these "additional" chapters will happen again between chapter X and XI.

Lastly, Thank you everyone for reading this and Happy Holidays!

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter IX

"And Yumi?"

"She must be running late…"

"I see…"

"I'll go order."

"Sure!"

There was nothing different with the way Sachiko looked that afternoon. It was just as if the woman was sitting at a Yamayurikai meeting: proper posture, perfect hair, carrying herself in a way only an Ogasawara could. Nevertheless, her aura felt brighter, lighter, any trace of aloofness erased from the heiress forever. All because of a certain brunette, owner of large dark-chocolate orbs, who couldn't keep her feelings from showing on her face and who had this strange yet wonderful ability to mollify the most hardened of hearts.

"Sa-chan and Sensei!" The kid behind the counter shouted, placing two paper cups on the pick-up area.

"Really?"

Sachiko stood up smiling at Noriko and without uttering a word the heiress quickly grabbed the drinks and brought them back to the table. She had told Noriko over and over again that she was going to be forever in debted to the soon-to-be professor for everything that she had done for her and Yumi. However, she had never promised Noriko she wasn't going to poke fun of her once in a while.

"How is your coffee?" Sachiko asked, after her first sip.

Noriko smiled, "It's delicious! Thank you."

"And how is your heart?"

"Sa-chan…"

Many moons ago, Noriko had asked Sachiko the same question. Many moons ago, Sachiko had given Noriko a very similar answer. Sachiko knew that prying would only cause the younger woman to ask for privacy regarding such matters – which was exactly her own request to Noriko in the past. However, having had developed a strong bond throughout the years and having gone through thick and thin with the help of the soon-to-be professor, Sachiko was still going to try.

"Although I don't want to admit, many things – some of which I never would like to know – reach my ears on a daily basis." Sachiko knew Shimako was the daughter of a Buddhist preacher even before Noriko did. Unfortunately, the connections the heiress had, were quick to disclose things in hopes to gain her trust. "Consequently, I knew about Shimako before Onee-sama told me of your encounter with her."

"…"

"Please, Riko?"

Life had funny ways to make Noriko go through discovery moments. One of those happened while Sachiko sat by the professor-to-be several years ago, sipping on the same drink of choice from the same coffee shop. Although, at that point in time, the dark cloud that followed Sachiko, stole any resemblance of humanity the woman had. The bags under her eyes, the disheveled tresses, the shaky hands, dry and cracked by wandering for too many hours outside in the cold Tokyo winter: Sachiko was not herself without Yumi's tenderness.

The red string of fate in which enveloped each and every member of the Yamayurikai had somehow brought Noriko to find Sachiko outside her favorite coffee shop the day before she was to leave Tokyo indefinitely. Noriko had left her phone at home with the excuse she wanted to see the city the way she used to as a child – one last time. Unbeknown to Noriko, the device was left to ring and buzz incessantly with calls and text messages from Youko and Sei pleading all the girls to look for a missing heiress…

"Riko and Sa-chan," Two cups sat on the counter, but Noriko didn't move. Something was wrong; she knew Sachiko wasn't one to walk around without a jacket in the midst of a quite cold winter.

"Riko and Sa-chan," Noriko finally grabbed the cups without ever taking her eyes off of the heiress, who sat quietly at a booth, wrapped in Noriko's winter coat. The brunette gave Sachiko her cup, and for some reason felt the urge to sit by the heiress and not across from the girl. _Body heat,_ was Noriko's excuse.

"How's your coffee?"

"It is quite delicious, thank you."

"And, your heart?"

"Noriko-chan, what gives you the right to ask such a personal question?"

Noriko feared she couldn't answer that question. Feeling like a hypocrite for trying to help a broken hearted woman while carrying herself the burden of her own brokenness, Noriko was strangely committed to the idea that at least one of those hearts could be saved. She knew for a fact, at that moment, sitting shoulder to shoulder with the Ogasawara heiress that there was no salvaging her relationship with Shimako. The blonde had made it clear that there was no space in her life for Noriko. Sachiko, on the other hand, had Yumi and Yumi wasn't going anywhere.

"Yumi…"

"Excuse, me?"

Once upon a time, a blue umbrella was lost, dates were cancelled and with the combination of such unfortunate events, the faith of a certain brunette in humankind was fractured. Sei, even oblivious to whatever was happening between the Red Roses, had warned Yumi not to give up on Sachiko. Somehow, the former White Rose was quite sensitive to Yumi's feelings. Sei was also much observant of the inconsistencies of Sachiko. Noriko had heard many of Sei's theories about the Yamayurikai girls and the strength of the relationships they cultivated, and even through her own eyes, she could see that Sachiko cared for Yumi immensely. Nevertheless, the heiress was also unyielding when her family's private life was at steak. Still, Noriko felt the need to press forward. She had already lost the love of her life, if Sachiko's friendship was also lost during that battle, then be it. Noriko was going away regardless, would one more casualty really change the path the former Rosa Gigantea was choosing? She didn't think so.

"When your grandmother was sick and you had to cancel the dates you had with Yumi-sama… she told me she thought she had lost you to Touko forever…."

"…"

"Nijou-san, if there's something you want to say, please, be straightforward about it."

"You're…" Noriko had to clear her throat; even though she was once Rosa Gigantea, she was still in front of Ogasawara Sachiko, "You're too hard on yourself, I mean. And even harder on the people who love you." Noriko was sure that the behavior wasn't premeditated; Sachiko coped with internal turmoil by going into flight mode. Noriko knew that mechanism very well; Shimako was much like Sachiko as far as dealing with the inadequacies of feeling too much.

At that moment, taking a second leap of faith, Noriko felt like a martyr of love. Was a broken heart all it took for anyone to become a wise defender of 'what should have beens,' and 'what could have beens?' For the first time Noriko understood Sei's unabashed need to see love flourish. So, Noriko, enthralled with her own discovery, took a deep breath and went for it, "Sachiko-sama, if you are not willing to fight for the woman you love, then you don't deserver her love at all."

There, the truth was out; as clear as a mid-summer day in Tokyo. And Noriko didn't panic. She didn't get up and left Sachiko there, she didn't break the side contact with the heiress, nor did she flinch or tried to hide at any point. Noriko simply sat there, looking through the glass window, toward the empty street, drinking what was left of her coffee and waiting for Sachiko to digest those words that could have very much been the last she would say to the heiress.

"…"

"How bad does it hurt?" The words left Sachiko's lips hesitantly, much to Noriko's surprise.

There was serenity in Noriko's voice, a deliberate calm carried each word, methodical pauses separated every sentence, "Knowing that I will never see her face again hurts like hell. In all truthfulness, I thought I'd win the battle. It was always the way she looked at me that gave me hope. Even when she was telling me that she had made up her mind about joining the cloister, her eyes always told me otherwise. They told me she loved me. They told me to wait for her… I still cannot believe she's gone."

Everybody knew Noriko was mature for her age. Sachiko was learning at that moment of the incalculable depth within the young Rosa Gigantea's understanding of her own heart. Much like Yoshino's request for Yumi not to grow up too fast and leave the twin-braided en-bouton behind during the beginning of their friendship, Sachiko felt the urge to plead Noriko not to leave her behind in the quest toward the understanding of love and its effects; even after what was yet to come, "It hurts so much, Sachiko-sama, I don't wish this upon anyone… What you're doing to Yumi-sama just because of tradition, you should know, is killing her. Tradition is there to be re-written! Yumi-sama has done everything in her power to make you aware of how much she loves you and how much she'll suffer when you ask her to be part of dress fittings, of tea ceremonies, of dinners and cocktails and stupid crap that you rich people do before weddings!"

"Noriko!"

"I'm not done yet." It was a quiet whisper, but the conviction rang in Sachiko's ears much like a loud scream. "You asked how bad it hurts. I'll tell you how bad it hurts… Grab a razor, Sachiko-sama, and drag it across your ankle, then watch that cut bleed. Then every time it heals, re-open it, wash yourself off, cover the wound and try to pretend it doesn't exist, that it doesn't hurt every single time you take a step. Try to forget of the throbbing each night you lie in bed – there is no forgetting."

In Noriko's case, the throbbing was ever present within her chest. Each step she took around Tokyo was a reminder that Shimako's fingers would never find hers, that the blonde's hair would never accidentally touch Noriko's face when a harder breeze blew, that Noriko would never be able to make Shimako smile or laugh out loud ever again, that Shimako's voice would never reach Noriko's ears to tell her what scared the blonde, what made her mad, what made her happy.

"She's gone and I'm left with this broken heart. That and the memories of someone who never really loved me. Is that what you want Yumi to be left with?"

"Nori–"

"Sa-chan!" Suguru's voice cracked. Maybe it was the fact he was out in the cold for several hours; maybe it was just how his voice sounded when he wasn't trying to be an asshole; maybe he was really relieved he had finally found the heiress. One thing was for sure, Suguru wasn't happy. Truth be told, he would have liked for Sachiko to escape, to have kidnapped Yumi and run away from Tokyo. Perhaps that was really asking for too much, Suguru wasn't that lucky.

"Suguru-sama, what makes you think you can scream at Sachiko-sama like that?"

"Noriko-san, have you not checked your messages? Sa-chan left her home early this morning without saying a word to anyone. We were worried sick something had happened to her!"

"Noriko, it's ok!" Sachiko tried to tame the younger Rosa Gigantea.

"No, it's not!" Noriko once again whispered. "Suguru-sama," she continued, "Regardless of what has transpired in Sachiko's life, you have interrupted a very important conversation." The dark-haired girl held on to her cup with both hands and with the tranquility only a Rosa Gigantea had, she looked down to her cup before looking back up again, "To answer your question, no, I have not checked my messages since this morning as I was taking care of last-minute arrangements for my trip tomorrow."

"…"

"I will make sure that Sachiko gets home in one piece once we're done talking. You can trust me. I will drive her to the Ogasawara Mansion in a couple of hours. Sachiko will be home before dinner. Please, be sure to tell everyone she is safe and with me. And for now, I would much appreciate if you left us to finish what you have interrupted by barging in."

There was a long silence at first. Suguru looked at Sachiko, then Noriko, then back at Sachiko, but couldn't find words to rebuke Noriko's. Finally, he brought both hands to his face, rubbing his eyes, "I'll make sure everyone knows you're with Nijou-san." He let out a long sigh before walking away as he fished out his cell phone from his pocket and started to dial.

"…"

Noriko watched Suguru hold his phone to his ear and shake his head crossing the street toward his car. When he drove away she stood up, "Noriko, please."

"I'm not going anywhere, Sachiko-sama. I'm just ordering more coffee… and food. You must be starving."

"No…Riko…" The heiress smiled; a legitimate smile, with sincerity that reached dark-blue orbs and made Noriko's lopsided smirk bloom into a full grin. It was the first time in many days that the two women had felt warmth reach their hearts.

Sachiko sat at the booth and watched Noriko look at the menu written on the wall.

 _Please, Noriko, don't leave me behind._

A year had gone by since the first heart-to-heart between the former Rosa Chinensis and Gigantea. December's low temperatures had allowed the snow from mid-November to accumulate on the sidewalks across Boston, accentuating the deep hues of the dark-red brick buildings. Noriko had grown fond of the snow, of the older buildings, of the parallelepiped roads, of bad traffic, of the twenty minutes it took for her to walk from downtown to Chinatown.

Being away from Tokyo had its perks; Noriko was no longer haunted by the ghost of young girls clad in dark uniforms, adorned with sailor collars who flooded bus stops and train stations every morning and afternoon squealing, 'Gokigenyou, Onee-sama.' There was no fear of someone who knew the history of the Yamayurikai stopping the former Rose to ask questions about why she never took a Petit Soeur.

Although tumultuous in many aspects, Noriko's high school career was the time she harvested friendships that were bound to last a lifetime. One of said relationships started at a coffee shop, flourishing to the extent that a certain heiress had taken Christmas break off from family to visit Noriko for a week.

"Were you not able to think of anything smarter than that?" Sachiko flipped her hair and headed to baggage claim while Noriko still held the sign that read 'Ice Princess.'

"I thought you'd be happy to see I haven't forgotten, Sa-chan!"

Truth be told, Noriko's straightforwardness was ever so endearing to Sachiko, who had grown up amongst people who masked themselves, and to gain favors, had to treat Sachiko with less than candid smiles. Nevertheless, it was through those same people that Sachiko had heard about Shimako's change of heart about the cloister, though she had no intentions to disclose that information to Noriko during that trip.

More than anything she wanted to spend time with a happier Noriko, one who stood behind the heiress, eyes closed tightly, arms up high holding her handmade sign. As Sachiko fished her bag from the moving belt, turning around to find Noriko at that exact position, with a smile plastered across her face, under the sunlight that stubbornly beamed through the upper windows of the airport, Sachiko saw more than a first-year college kid standing in front of her. She saw a beautiful mess of a woman, broken by lost love, but with hope pouring from every inch of those wonderful bones and skin that together created a breathtaking creature. Human, not Maria-sama like, just human. And to Sachiko, that was the most incredible thing she had seen, because Noriko was simply Noriko.

"I am the Ice Princess. And now everyone in America knows that, thanks to you, Riko."

"Don't be so mean, Sa-chan!

The two friends got in Noriko's car and drove away; the idle conversation about the flight, college classes, and family kept them from touching much deeper subjects during the car ride. Nevertheless, both young women knew that sooner or later it would happen. Broken hearts brought them together, to avoid the topic was to deny the ties that kept those two hearts connected.

During the second day of Sachiko's visit, as the girls walk into Noriko's dorm room, Sachiko reached into her purse, pulling out a plane ticket, as she extended her arms offering the piece of paper to Noriko, she bowed deeply, "It would mean the world to me if you came to my wedding. Please, be one of my bridesmaids."

"…"

Sachiko stood there, silently waiting for Noriko's response. When the words came out of her young friend, she wasn't surprised at all, "More than anyone else, the only wedding I want to attend is the one Yumi is also a bride."

"We've discussed this before, Riko…" Sachiko stood straight, though she kept her arms stretched out, "Please, take it."

"You don't want me to be in that church when the priest asks if there's anyone against your marriage. I'm sure by now you know I will voice my opinion. You don't want a crazy woman's words interfering with this ridiculous farce."

Lean arms outstretched shook while tears rolled down Sachiko's face, "I'd want nothing more than for you to do that, Riko. I'd want nothing more than for anyone to do that. Please, take the ticket."

"Is that why you came all the way here for? To ask me to travel to Tokyo on a suicide mission?"

"…"

"Give." Noriko took a deep breath before taking the ticket from Sachiko's hands then brought the heiress into a tight embrace. "You're an impossible woman. Who else have you coerced into this?"

"S-Satou-san."

"Is this a Gigantea homicide you're planning?

"Rei said Yoshino also has plans of her own…"

"And you, Sa-chan?"

"You know more than anyone that I don't want to marry him."

"Sa-chan…"

When the week of Sachiko's wedding came around, Noriko boarded her plane hesitantly and as she saw the Tokyo lights, she felt her heart tighten. Nothing had changed from when Noriko left; the roads looked the same, the street signs were the same, the gingko trees stood tall, though every single Sakura tree was covered with pink and red petals. Sachiko had planned everything so gracefully, it was as if she had consulted with Mother Nature and scheduled the wedding for the perfect day of the blooming season.

Kanako parked the car in the garage and headed to Yumiko's home to let her know she had arrived and to introduce Noriko to the older lady. The tall girl was lucky enough to have met Katou Kei and Yumiko through Sei. When Kei moved out, Kanako took over the responsibilities of caring for the house and Yumiko as well.

"Noriko-san, you have traveled all the way here for Ogasawara Sachiko's wedding? You must be a good friend of hers." The older lady started.

"Yes, ma'am. We have become very close friends."

"Are you here to stop her from marrying a man she doesn't love?"

"Yumiko-sama!" Kanako's reply was nothing but a squeal.

"Kanako, I am old. Not an idiot. Between talking to Yumi and Touko, I have grown fond of this idea. I am sure Sachiko's grandmother, who was a good friend of mine would be proud of the person putting an end to this horrendous mistake."

"If all goes according to plan, Yumiko-san, I _will_ keep this mistake from happening."

"Let's see which one of you ladies will make the move first. Touko-chan has been rehearsing her lines for the past year."

As Sachiko walked across the isle side by side with her father, Noriko couldn't help but notice Touko's fidgeting legs. She also found Sei, sittion on a pew in front of the bridesmaids, her eyes met Noriko's for an instant and she smiled. Yumi held her breath, trying not to cry while standing only a few steps from Suguru. When Sachiko took her final steps toward Suguru, Youko had already stepped away toward the sacristy, Noriko could hear the fading footsteps that led the older Chinensis sister to the second floor of the church.

Youko couldn't watch her Petite Soeuer marry someone she didn't love while the Yumi stood there quietly with tears in her eyes. The elder Red Rose had promised she wouldn't do anything crazy, she had told herself that she was going to let things happen as they should. She had told Sei she wouldn't meddle, and had lost Sei because of that decision; however, at that instant, Youko couldn't handle everyone's cowardice. As she approached the corner that housed the old church's organ, another somebody had already turned it on and was working on hooking the proper cables so the sound would resonate through the speakers.

Clad in a black dress, a single braid draped on her right shoulder, Todou Shimako smiled at Youko, "Gokigenyou, Rosa Chinensis."

One way or another someone would have said something during that wedding. One way or another, Sachiko wouldn't marry Suguru and Noriko was happy that love was going to win at last. Nevertheless, at the same time that Noriko felt her heart swell up with happiness for Yumi, when Tooru's words bounced off of the church's walls, she also hurt deeply by realizing that she would never be on the receiving end of the miracle of second chances…

"There are so many questions I want to ask her. But I have no idea where to start." Noriko's answer to Sachiko's question wasn't what the Ogasawara heiress wanted to hear. Nevertheless, Sachiko didn't really know what exactly the perfect answer would have been. She knew Noriko suffered for a long time – Shimako's absence had carved a large scar in Noriko's heart.

"When you talk to her, Rico… know that sometimes people do things because they don't see a way to escape fate. Without you and Sei, and Onee-sama, and Touko and everyone else, I wouldn't be able to have Yumi." Although Sachiko's heart went out to Noriko, she also understood why Shimako did what she did. "I think she has learned her lesson, Rico. I can't ask you to forget what she did to you, but I'd like to ask you to at least listen to what she has to say. I am sure she will end up answering many of these unknown questions you have."

"I can't promise anything Sa-chan. I'm not even sure of what to think… I'm jus—"

Sachiko looked down at the phone that had interrupted Noriko, picking it up and showing the caller ID that read 'Ogasawara Yumi' to the soon-to-be-professor, and Noriko nodded.

"You're extremely la—"

"S-slow it down, Yumi. What's wrong?"

Silence.

"I see. We'll be there as soon as we can."

Silence

"I love you, too. Everything will be okay…"

Sachiko dropped the call as she grabbed her purse and stood up. "Yumi is in the hospital with Yoshino. We need to go."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I'm hoping everyone is doing well!

There's a bad word in this chapter - I apologize for it, but felt as if it was needed. Plus, if you have seen "Little Miss Sunshine" before, you'll know whom I borrowed the sentence from and I hope it makes you laugh.

Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to read this.

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter X

Some may say that while happiness strikes some people multiple times, darkness follows others incessantly; others think that people make their own hell by burying themselves deeper and deeper into sorrow. Noriko was unsure where she stood regarding such opinions. She was never one to go down without a fight; however, she felt stuck in a everlasting tug-of-war with her own heart.

So many people found love in college, at work, walking aimlessly the streets of Tokyo on a Tuesday night, standing in line to pay a bill, or on the way home after a long day of work. Unfortunately, Noriko wasn't like so many people, and as she sat alone at a coffee shop at half past five in the morning, she couldn't help but think about all of the people in her life and how their connectedness was so strong, and how she couldn't imagine life without any of those special people that individually were worth so much but collectively were incomparably invaluable.

The thought of a Yamayurikai existing without all of the collection of roses was unfathomable. To think that Nana's restaurant could run without the help of Rei, Youko, Sachiko or even Sei was unfathomable. The fact that Noriko was gone for so long and still belonged to the group as if she had only left for a couple of days was enough proof that Lillian was a magical place: responsible for bringing together the most unique hearts. A place where there was no need for strict rules of conduct because the soeurship took care of it. Ultimately, Lillian was a place that fostered unconditional trust. The Yamayurikai was there to once again prove that the bonds created within the Lillian gates were not only bound by a simple red string of fate; those women were brought and remained together because of how deeply they loved.

Noriko gathered her thoughts leaving the café and crossing the road toward Tokyo University's campus. The streets were quiet; fall had finally arrived taking away the warmth and humidity of the summer and bringing along a cooler breeze. Noriko looked to the not-so vibrant greens, dull yellows and dark reds that covered the branches of all trees, making that time of the year all the more beautiful in her eyes.

She sat on the steps that lead to a certain building; one which would house her books and belongings for at least six months. Walls which would witness either prosperity or complete disaster to Noriko's professional life. But that early in the morning, the only things that really interested the young scholar were how the multicolored leaves paired perfectly with the red brick buildings.

It was indeed one flawless Fall day, and the combination of colors, temperature and the synchronized sway of the leaves; the sum of all those parts, that, somehow mesmerized Noriko at that moment in her life, where she didn't know whether to keep burying herself deeper in the faded memories of a decade-old failed love, or finally come to terms with the fact that there was no one on the face of the Earth, not even Shimako herself, that could mend that heart any more. And so, perhaps it was time for her to own that brokenness like a good Lillian maiden would own her responsibilities, accomplishments and failures.

She had failed, Noriko concluded at last.

Eyes closed, she inhaled deeply all of the air she could gather inside her lungs. And right there, sitting on the steps of that old building, she finally felt okay with losing the war. For almost ten years she couldn't come to terms with the fact that there was nothing she could have said or done to make Shimako stay. And for almost ten year she blamed herself for not being able to offer Shimako more than her entire heart when what she had offered was worth more than anything anyone had ever presented Shimako.

Noriko's coffee grew cold as her eyes glazed over. Her surroundings became just another blur, and so she didn't hear when a voice echoed across the empty path, "Naru." A soft hand reached over and touched Noriko on the shoulder, tentatively, "Naru…"

Noriko blinked, adjusted her glasses and looked up toward the voice to find Shimako standing across from her with arms full of books, a shy smile adorning her face.

"…"

"Shim– Todou-sensei."

"I didn't mean to startle you."

"Anyone would have." Noriko said, standing and walking to a trashcan adjacent to her to throw her coffee cup away.

"My mind seemed to have wandered far away from here," she finished, returning to sit at the steps and watching as Shimako did the same after piling her books neatly to the side.

"How long have you been sitting here?"

"I'm not sure, probably an hour or so."

"Couldn't sleep?"

Noriko shook her head.

"Me neither."

"…"

"Would…would I interest you in a cup of tea?"

Noriko sat there for a few seconds looking straight at the hazel eyes in front of her, _Once a Lillian girl, always a Lillian girl_ , she thought. There was always time for tea, there was always room for tea. There couldn't be a meeting without tea, there couldn't be a conversation without the goddamned fucking tea.

Noriko had switched to coffee long ago.

She never really liked the aftertaste of tea; the obnoxiously sweet smell of the fruit or flower flavored ones, the memories that brewing tea brought her.

Not receiving the response she expected from the woman sitting by her, Shimako pressed forward, "I can also fetch you a cup of coffee. Many of our professors like it better than tea."

"Coffee," Noriko started, "I'll take coffee," she finished, completely ignoring whatever else Shimako had said.

"OK, then. Coffee it is," Shimako stood up, grabbed the pile of books and walked up the stairs toward the doors of the large building.

"Coming?" she turned and asked.

"And where must we go?" Noriko fell into step with Shimako, grabbing the stack of books from the blonde's hands.

"Inside," Shimako answered.

Noriko found herself sitting alone in Todou-sensei's office, which was tucked in neatly in a corner between a couple of Sociology professors. Noriko looked around, completely not surprised by the amount of books taking over Shimako's book cases: first and second-year Cultural and Physical Anthropology textbooks, several other Biological Anthropology dissertations and textbooks on Sociology, Culture and Diversity. Diversity; who would have thought that Todou Shimako would even think of diversity, let alone read about it? For what it was worth, the only place Noriko thought Shimako could at least, somewhat, maybe belong in Anthropology was Archaeology… _fossils and rocks,_ _how childish, Noriko, put yourself together, woman,_ she admonished herself before continuing to analyze the remaining academic works Todou-sensei appreciated: an entire section on LGBTQ rights and cultural movement, Noriko wasn't impressed again. Although Shimako had left to get drinks for little less than five minutes, the dark-haired woman felt uncomfortable.

As she decided to sneak out of the office and began her journey toward the exit, a familiar voice stopped her before she could reach the door, "Nijou-sensei," the Dean of the Social Science Department spoke, " I wasn't expecting you until next week!"

"I…" Noriko turned around to face the older man, "I was visiting with a friend of mine, sir."

"I had no idea you had a faculty friend! What a great coincidence!"

"Yes, sir. A great coincidence indeed."

From behind the Dean, Noriko spotted Shimako, who walked toward her office with two cups, then quickly as if a magic trick had happened, she stepped out, hands-free.

"Itou-sensei," Shimako started as she approached the acquaintances, "I see you waste no time at harassing beautiful women," she joked.

"My, my, Shimako. Only when they are also scholars!"

"Itou-sensei!"

Shimako's smile made her eyes spark. Itou-sensei had become not only a mentor but a friend to the blonde. The older man had told Shimako once that in order for people to grow, they should be able to find someone to walk side-by side with, someone they could count on as a mentor and also someone they could guide. The blonde had already realized while still at Lillian that Itou-sensei's advise was a hard one to accomplish; nevertheless, she took a leap of faith and entrusted many of her secrets to the Dean – much like she had once done with Sei. He, in exchange, accepted Shimako's honesty with open arms and offered words of encouragement. To the woman who once had given up on the wonderful life she had built, Itou-sensei's acceptance and guidance meant getting back at least a small portion of what Shimako once had in abundance.

"I see I don't need to go through the trouble of introducing you two as I believe you already know each other," Itou-sensei started, "I have no reservations when I say that Nijou-sensei will be a wonderful addition to our division." He looked straight into Noriko's eyes, "I am very happy you are one of us, my dear."

"…"

Noriko stood there, taking in the sincere recognition of her capabilities, but also preparing herself to whatever was coming her way.

"I… I believe she will indeed, sir," Shimako's voice cracked.

"Then I will let you ladies catch up."

Noriko stood across from Shimako waiting for Itou-sensei to turn the corner.

"…"

"Could we please not do this in the middle of the hallway?" Noriko asked.

Footsteps echoed across the hallway as two estranged hearts beat in discord. The exit door opened and closed and Itou-sensei was yet again alone in the faculty building.

"How long were you planning on waiting, Noriko?"

Noriko heaved a deep breath, her hair dance to the rhythm of the leaves connected to the trees. Her bangs swayed from side to side and as Shimako turned toward Noriko, the younger Gigantea sister couldn't help but picture the first time she saw Shimako standing under the dancing branches of a Cherry Blossom tree.

Maria-sama.

It was Maria-sama yet again.

At that time, though, Noriko knew better.

"Waiting?" She played dumb.

"To tell me!"

"Tell you what?"

"That you… were you!"

"Shimako-sama…" Noriko started, "I'm not the one who has forgotten your face."

Shimako took a step toward Noriko, grabbing on to both of her hands,

"You were all I saw, Riko! The year I spent locked up in the Convent… you were all I saw in my dreams, in other people, in my own reflection: your face, your hair, your fingers, your legs, your smile…"

"Shim—"

"Let me finish… P-please…"

"…"

"When I left the Convent… I looked for you everywhere in Tokyo. When I couldn't find you, I reached out to the girls, Sei, Youko, Yumi, even Rei. They wouldn't tell me anything. I thought you were still in Japan, so I traveled around, visited every major shrine in this country. Every dark-haired girl, to me, had your face. I was going insane, and Sei, so perceptive, finally told me you weren't in the country anymore. I got to a point where I couldn't face the girls – they were a constant reminder of Lillian, of the Sakura trees, of you… And so when I left Tokyo I also left you behind, thinking you would never return because of me. I thought I would never see your face again. I _knew_ I would never see you again, and that's why, Noriko, that's why when I saw you, I couldn't believe it was you, and when you said your name was Naru I berated myself for even for one second wishing it could've been you."

And so, Noriko listened as Shimako held her by the hands, trying to explain at least a tiny portion of her side of the story.

"I'm not sure… where to go from here, Shimako-sama."

Noriko was speaking the truth. No matter how much she had thought about confronting Shimako, she couldn't figure out what to do next. She had just, a few hours prior, realized that it was time for her to move on, and there was Shimako again, trying to destroy Noriko's resolve, trying to break down her walls, trying to reach for her heart once more.

Shimako wanted to tell Noriko everything. That not listening to the dark-haired woman was a mistake, that following through with her plan was the worst thing that she could've done to herself and consequently to Noriko. That she missed Noriko's smile, her voice, the softness of her hands, the warmth of her embraces. Though, no words came out of the blonde's lips.

Noriko finally broke the silence, "That night, do you remember that night?"

"How could I ever forget?"

The night before Shimako left for the Cloister, Noriko, with help from Yumi and Sei had gone to Shimako's house to try and stop the girl from leaving. Noriko pleaded, "How can you let a promise you made yourself as a child destroy what we have?"

She tried, with a long, drawn out 17-year-old rationale, to make Shimako understand that what they had was the real deal. That no matter what people said, love didn't see gender, nor color, or religion. That all true love really needed to flourish were two hearts bound to one-another and a promise, "My heart belongs to you and I know yours belongs to me. Take this leap of faith with me. I promise you, Shimako, my heart will always be yours."

Shimako didn't say a word regarding Noriko's request and politely asked the young Rosa Gigantea to leave. The blonde couldn't break the promise made to God before Noriko came around, a promise she would love and serve Him and no other for the rest of her life. Christianity had kept her afloat for so long, changing her mind wasn't even an option. Changing her mind because of a promise of love made by a child – a girl – that could have never been the reason why Shimako would renounce a life of Christ-like work.

What Shimako didn't take into consideration was a simple, yet extremely important gift God himself gave humankind: free-will. Shimako, as intelligent as she was, at that moment, was too dense to see that God had created everything upon this Earth with perfect hands, not letting one molecule stray away from perfect systems, plants, animals, oceans, microorganisms. God had created everything flawlessly, God had created Shimako, God had also created Noriko. Perfect human creations: ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, two ears, one nose, one mouth and one heart. One heart to love, regardless of stereotypes and gender taboos that society, and not God, had created, and men had intentionally miss-translated and added to a book that later had given meaning to everything Shimako thought was true and right.

"I offered you everything I had. I poured my heart out to you, begged you to stay, made a fool of myself in front of my frien—"

"I was wrong."

"…"

"I was wrong! Okay?"

A young Shimako couldn't comprehend love. She couldn't admit that she had fallen for Noriko. A young Shimako plowed through her feelings, fought the inability to understand the difference between having to do something and choosing to do something. Life, in her eyes, unfortunately, was either black or white. She only understood gray when she was faced with the loss of Noriko.

"I should have stayed. I should have. I should have ran away with you…"

"That's when you're wrong, Shimako-sama."

"…"

"Running away would have only made things more difficult."

Noriko went on to explain to Shimako that they could've done things the right way. They would have hid for a while, went on dinner dates and shrine visits before gathering enough courage to tell their parents. "By then, Rei and Yoshino would have been out, which would have made things easier." Sei and Youko would've been dating also, which would have made their families blame Sei for corrupting them –Sei would have proudly taken the blame for it. Life would have unraveled itself in a midst of a shy first kiss followed by many other deeper ones, of long embraces proceeded by the discovery of bare skin, of burning desires; all in its own accord. However, there they were, mere acquaintances, trying, somehow to own _it,_ whatever _it_ was.

"…Then, let me try again. Let me mend what's been broken."

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

"Get to know me again… Let me take you on a date - one we never really had, with a real dinner, a real walk around the bar district; everything. If it's not of your liking, then I'll let you be. I won't bother you any more. I promise."

The wind, stubbornly yet gently continued to blow. The leaves danced in front of Noriko; some scared of detaching, of flying away, of losing themselves into the streets; others, deciding to take a chance and letting go. Noriko smiled, comparing herself to those leaves as they both had a resolve of their own, to remain attached until there was no more strength to hold on to the branches that once secured them; until time and circumstances had corroded and weaken their fibers to a point where persisting wasn't necessary any longer.

Noriko freed her hands from Shimako's, "I'm sorry Shimako-sama." It was her time to let go, to finally break free from the last fibers that connected her heart to the blonde's. She was finally owning it.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: After Noriko's stubbornness from last chapter, we get to see the beginning of something great!:)

There are a few nerdy references in this chapter: underoath's music and a reference from Onii-sama-e (which to me is Marimite's predecessor. It also has a greenhouse scene where hair is braided together; ahem, ahem, Sato Sei and Kubo Shiori). Let me know if you guys catch any of the references ;)

This is not one of my best chapters, but it opens up some doors and windows, extending the story!

As always, thank you so much for reading!

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter XI

"…And she let you walk away?"

"Yup."

"Just like that?"

"Yup."

Nana couldn't believe Noriko.

The kitchen was finally closed and the youngest of the Foetida sisters was able to join Yoshino and Noriko by the dishwasher as they scraped food from plates and placed them neatly in the crates before running them through the machine.

Once every two months Nana's restaurant was flooded by Lillian students as well as parents and supporters of the Kendo club. The fundraising events were also great excuses to bring the Yamayurikai ladies together to help with the back of the house – the Kendo members ran food and bussed tables.

"How can you be content with losing like that?" Nana asked.

Noriko closed the dishwasher door making the thing hiss, "There's a time for everything, Nana, including losing."

The semester had finally begun and Noriko had managed to dodge Shimako quite successfully. Nevertheless, even though she had the blonde's schedule and knew exactly which buildings to avoid at specific times, Noriko still had to endure the weekly meetings, where she felt Shimako's shy gaze upon her several times throughout the hour-long affairs.

"At least Noriko talked to her."

"Onee-sama!"

"I'm just saying!"

There was a split second of silence, which was emphasized by the end of the washing cycle. Noriko opened the washer's door and retrieved the crate full of plates from the machine, "There's a someone?"

"Mystery Lady." Yoshino winked.

Mystery Lady was a woman Nana saw from time to time riding the train on Sunday mornings toward Aoyama Farmer's Market.

"Nana's infatuated with this woman she only sees a handful of times every year. She has no idea who she is or what she does…"

Sometimes in January, others in mid-July through August, Nana would spot said Mystery Lady walking around the Farmer's Market and Nezu Museum. At times, the owner of longing chocolate orbs would make Nana's heart beat faster just by sitting outside Café Kitsune.

Nana's eyes traveled across the kitchen as a gloomy smile reached her lips, "She looks like a well-read person. I fry fish for living…"

"Nana-chan!" Noriko was surprise by such words. The woman in front of her, much like Rei, had one of the most amazing hearts. Thinking of herself as less-than someone she knew nothing about was absurd.

In all truthfulness, Arima Nana didn't know she was a mystery herself. She couldn't grasp the idea of being someone people also admired from afar. She never saw the amount of fan-girls that would follow her around Lillian because she only had eyes for her onee-sama. And because Yoshino only had eyes for Rei, Nana was quick to come to the realization that she had lost that fight against the blonde even before they met.

Bad timing seemed to be a recurring plague in Nana's life. The day she decided it was time to introduce herself to Mystery Lady, Aoyama's was closed due to heavy snowfall. One week before the snowfall, Nana spotted the unknown woman at Nezu Museum, and that was it: July and August had flown by with no signs of Nana's favorite face.

"What's with you, Nana? You're a well-known chef. For what we know, this woman could be a whore or something!"

"Onee-sama, she looks nothing like a whore."

"She takes the train early on Sunday mornings, always carrying a backpack... She's a woman of the night. I bet she carries all of her money in that backpack."

"Onee-sama… Really?"

"And she probably does not live close to Aoyama Farmer's Market. She only goes there to get more clients."

"Yoshino-sama, please."

"And she probably lives in Taishido, or something suuuuuuper far!" Yoshino chuckled.

"There's no way she lives past Shibuya!" Came the dry reply.

"How the heck are you so sure of that, Nana-chan?" Yoshino was loving it.

"Because!"

"Because?"

"I went all the way to Shimo-Kitazawa and Jiyugaoka. She was never in the train. Her final destination has to be Shibuya, Yoshino-onee-sama!"

Yoshino was the queen of rubbing people the wrong way, "So you're saying you stalked her?"

"Yoshino-sama! I would never have done such a thing!"

Nana didn't really follow the woman; she simply left one train and took another. Granted, she took the train in hopes to see the shoulder-length dark hair, the long slender legs, the most stunning smile she had ever seen.

Noriko decided to chime in, "What does she look like?"

Nana shut off the sprayer and looked straight into Noriko's eyes, "She's… a beautiful woman."

"…"

Even Yoshino couldn't get a good explanation out of Nana. Apparently the woman was a combination of Youko, Sei, Yoshino and Rei with a sprinkle of Yumi and Noriko. The only thing Nana was very specific about was the headphones the woman carried with her at all times: white, over-the-head headphones. And Nana would have given anything and everything to know what songs made that woman's eyes glimmer.

"Nana-sama," one of the servers came in, "Could… could you make one last grilled Sanma? P-please?"

"Hai!" Nana didn't hesitate. The kitchen had already been closed for a half hour, but she couldn't say no.

The dark-haired woman chopped already pre-baked sweet potatoes after starting on the fish. "Yoshino-sama, could you grab that red spice to the left of the fridge?" She stirred the potatoes into a sauce and after seasoning mushrooms, she plated the fish and neatly positioned the vegetables around the main entrée. The food runner grabbed the plate and walked out as Nana re-joined Noriko and Yoshino.

And so, the inquisition, led by Yoshino, restarted.

"Why don't you just talk to her?"

Nana played along not wanting any more attention than what she was getting, "Would you ever approach someone like Sachiko-sama just like that? I don't think so!"

"Noriko stalked Shimako – sorry Noriko-chan, I had to!"

"I didn't stalk her!"

"…"

"All I want to say is that Nana is putting the woman on a pedestal."

Noriko nodded, agreeing with Yoshino's statement. There was no reason for Nana to place Mystery Lady at unreachable heights.

Sei, who decided she wanted to play hostess that night, backed her way into the kitchen holding a tray with four cups; three beers and a water, "Nana, chug this before you go out there; someone's asking for the chef."

"Where's Rei?"

"Rei's already talked to her, she wants to see you."

Noriko raised her glass and so did Yoshino, "You gotta chug it!"

And just like that the kitchen door swung open and out came Sei, Yoshino, Noriko and Nana. The restaurant was almost empty, all the tables but one had been cleaned. Around the only table with several cups and a single empty plate, was four generations of Chinensis sisters accompanied by Kanako, Rei and a woman Nana had never met.

"Rosa Canina!" Yoshino squealed.

"Wait, what?"

All younger eyes fell upon Yoshino, which made the always-loud Rose Foetida blush for a split second. She then proceeded to explain where the Rose name came from. And for the duration of the explanation Touko, Kanako, and Noriko felt robbed of a portion of history that had happened prior to their arrival.

To Nana the explanation was nothing more than noise; word after word left her grand-soeur's lips; however, none of them connected. And as Kanina Shizuka stood and walked toward Nana, the woman who was frozen, melted at the sound of the older woman's voice, "The food you make is absolutely fantastic!"

 _Maria-sama._

"Maria-sama."

Noriko thought, though Nana's voice, soft as a whisper left her lips on its own accord.

"This is when you say thank you, Nana-chan. Have I taught you nothing?"

"Oooh, yeah, so-sorry, ma'am. Thank you for your kind words."

Rei realized something was up with Nana and decided to help. The woman wasn't shy, but was known for getting in trouble when having to deal with too many people at once, "Most of the produce and meats come from Aoyama, Nana picks them herself every week!"

Even though Nana held strong feelings for Yoshino for a while, it didn't take long for the youngest of the Foetida sisters to stop thinking of Rei as an opponent and start seeing the blonde as another onee-sama. Rei rubbed off on Nana tremendously, and by the time Rosa Foetida left for university, the title of Lillian's Prince already belonged to the en Bouton. Rei had grown fond of Nana, learning to pick up on certain cues the shortest of the Foetida sisters ever so slightly let out. Nana was, like any younger sister, protected and cared for, with iron fists and soft hearts.

"The Farmer's Market?" Shizuka asked.

"Yeah! The University's!"

"Is that so?" Rosa Canina's eyes landed on Nana, who twisted a bar towel with the strength of one hundred men.

"Ha—hai…"

"Everything is local and fre—" Yoshino started, but stopped as she watched Nana take a backward step and bow deeply before cleaning her throat and addressing Shizuka, "Thank you so very much for the gracious words. It means the world to me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should be getting back to my kitchen." And away Nana went.

The awkward silence that Nana left was quickly broken by Rei as the blonde tactfully diverged the attention from the chef's hasty exit back to Shizuka. While Rei worked her magic, Noriko silently walked away from the group, went behind the bar taking a bottle of vodka and two cups, and disappeared through the swinging doors that connected the bar to the kitchen.

"One for me, one for you." The professor handed Nana a cup. She looked at Noriko, then the cup, and walked toward the back door without addressing Noriko. Though, before she actually reached the back door she stopped by the ice machine and fished out four ice cubes. As she walked back, she smiled at Noriko, "Thought I was walking away from you?"

"Wouldn't be the first…"

"You need to have more faith in us, Noriko-sensei."

"…"

"We love you." Nana extended her arm and Noriko met her half way; the ice landed inside the drink and the spillage was minimal.

"I know."

Nana raised her cup and Noriko duplicated the move, "Don't ever doubt we want the best for you," The younger Rose drank the double shot in one gulp, Noriko imitated the move.

"Nana…" Noriko started to pour a second drink.

"Hhm?" Nana had reached for the sprayer; there were still plates and cups to be washed.

"What happened back there?"

"Back there, where?"

"Don't play dumb, Nana-chan! Why didn't you stay longer and hang out with Shizuka-sama?"

"Noriko-sama, I have to deal with people like her almost every night, complimenting the chef is so overrated nowadays…"

"Over—"

Nana hated the compliments. She absolutely abhorred being interrupted in the middle of a busy night, having to walk to the tables and play nice while people busted their behinds in the back. She had made an agreement with Rei that when the blonde was in, she'd take care of chef requests, all Nana wanted to do was cook. In peace.

It was already past midnight when all dishes were finally cleaned, all tables bussed and wiped and everyone but Nana and Noriko had left. The two women turned off the lights and fidgeted with the door lock before stepping out into that cool autumn night. As they lifted their heads to cross the street, they spotted Sei.

And Sei wasn't alone.

Like the women magnet the blonde was, she had three others with her. Each woman a beauty of her own: the one closest to Sei, had stolen the woman's heart from the get-go, mid-length dark tresses and the most stunning smile, Mizuno Yoko didn't have to move a muscle to make Sei's heart skip a beat. The second woman made Nana halt her steps and in association stop Noriko on her tracks as well: Kanina Shizuka laughed and the world stopped spinning for Nana. At the same time Noriko's heart raced out of control when a very familiar giggle echoed in the air: Todou Shimako's eyes glimmered perfectly under the dim streetlights.

"Yo! Over here!" The two tipsy women crossed the street, both praying they'd sober up by the time they got to Sei. As they reached the group, Nana bowed, "Shizuka-sama, I deeply apologize for my absolute lack of manners."

Shizuka stepped away from Sei, Yoko and Shimako, grabbing Nana by the shoulders and straightening her, "There's no need to apologize."

"Why don't you walk Nana home, Shizuka. We'll come get you once we're done here."

"Hai! Sei-sama, Youko-sama, Shimako-chan. We'll be going, then."

Shizuka walked by Noriko, looking the woman in the eyes, "It's called: exhaling. You should try it." She then started to walk down the road, turning back to Nana, "Ichigaya station, right?"

Dark brown-eyes looked deep into a pool of chocolate, and as Nana fell into step with Shizuka, she corrected the singer, "I live around the corner, actually, but Ichigaya is the station I usually u— How did you know?"

"I did my homework, Arima Nana."

"…"

Shizuka smiled, "All of this time, I was never brave enough to talk to you."

"Talk to me?"

Shizuka chuckled at the question, though warmth flooded her chest, "For so long I watched you peaking from behind the books you read… I couldn't help but read each one of those books as well; Neruda, Hemmingway, Marquez, Verlaine."

"Verlaine. That was a very cold winter..."

"Which poem is your favorite?" Shizuka asked, and hoped with all of her heart it was…

"Like city's rain, my heart…"

Shizuka's smile was much wider that the first one. And Nana immediately knew she had done something right, "What now, this languorous ache, this smart that pierces wounds my heart?"

"The guy is a genius!"

"I… was absolutely terrified of talking to you," Nana started. "I wanted, with all of my heart to know what you were listening to. What made you look so happy at times and what made your eyes fill with tears… I wanted to…"

"Help?"

"…Yes"

"You did!" Shikuza smiled, halting her steps and spinning so she could face Nana, "I actually had an extra reason to come back to Tokyo. And coming back made me reconnect with amazing friends; Sachiko, Sei, Youko—"

"How did you find me?"

"Shimako."

"Todou Shimako?"

"What other Shimako do we both know?"

"Are you serious?"

Shimako and Shizuka had grown close since high school. The friends kept their tradition of writing each other letters for years; e-mails, text messages and phone calls were added as much faster ways of communication; however, especially during the year Shimako spent in the Cloister, words written with ink on paper carried much more feelings than anything typed electronically. Even three weeks prior to Shizuka and Nana's meeting, Shizuka had written Shimako a letter letting the blonde know that she was coming back to Tokyo and intended to stay.

"I once wrote her about a woman I saw innumerous times travelling down to Shibuya and spending hours at Aoyama Farmer's Market."

Shizuka was terrified to say she had described Nana to Shimako with such detail that when Shimako actually hopped in the train the following Sunday morning at Ichigaya, Nana fit the description completely – gray hoody and all:

 _Shimako-chan, even if I had the ability to write the most beautiful poems, my lines would fail at describing how this woman makes me feel just by standing there. Her dark-hair with long bangs sit atop of her shoulders perfectly, even when it rests on this gray hoody she owns. She is shorter than me, though sturdy, perhaps an athlete of some sort as no sudden movements from the train are too sudden for her. If she sits, her back is straight, and she breaths deeply, like she wants with all her being for the air to fill her lungs. My favorite part of the morning is when she lifts those beautiful dark eyes from her book and looks out the window. When she smirks at things she reads, my mind spins madly. I must admit that I lost count of how many times I had to re-read paragraphs of books or re-start entire songs because my brain freezes when I see her smile._

Shimako had walked up and down the booths of Aoyama with Nana as she, with the politeness of a Lillian maiden and the determination of a black-belt, negotiated prices and quantities with produce vendors.

After spending that morning with the blonde, the chef invited Shimako to the restaurant but Shimako didn't want to be seen by the Yamayurikai quite yet, so the dark-haired woman would meet the former Rosa Gigantea across the street for drinks. At least twice a week she'd bring Shimako a bento with whatever dish was on special. The women would talk for hours about everything under the sun. At times when Youko had to work late, Sei – who had followed Nana to the bar one night and was surprised to learn that Nana was hoarding such an important secret – would join the two friends. Nana not only had brought Sei closer to Shimako again, she had also discovered a great confidant in the always-boisterous Satou Sei.

 _My dearest friend,_

 _I apologize for e-mailing you so impulsively; however, I know better than to make you wait._

 _I believe I have the name and whereabouts of the person who makes your heart race. She's a Lillian alumna, incredibly talented chef and Kendo black-belt (your assumption on her being an athlete was tremendously accurate). She is also none but Shimazu Yoshino-san's Petite Soeur, Arima Nana._

 _Shizuka-sama, from what I've gathered, she might know who you are; your face, that is. She has mentioned once or twice a mysterious woman she sees around Aoyama Farmer's Market at times. Nana is much vague about details, but dear sister, I hope to Maria-sama that person is you!_

 _I have missed seeing your face this summer. I hope the cold winds of winter bring you home._

 _Attached is a picture of Nana._

 _Love always,_

 _Todou Shimako_

"What? Do you not believe me?"

"I just… this is just…"

"Shimako went out of her way to go look for the person who stole my heart, and she found her…"

"…"

"Was that too forward?"

"… I think…"

"…"

"I think that was the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me." Nana smiled, her eyes beamed. There was something about the woman walking side-by-side with her; something Nana couldn't explain with words. Nana's heart pounded: a symphony lead by the butterflies that never left her chest after Shizuka's eyes found hers. For the first time, Nana felt fine with the butterflies that carved a name across her heart: Kanina Shizuka.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Hello!_

 _Japan's top 10 yuri anime list came out the other day and Marimite was ranked #4. Amazing, right?!_

 _Has anyone checked out the list? Simoun, Valkyrie Drive Mermaid, Kannazuki no Miko, Aoi Hana, Strawberry Panic and Sakura Trick also made the cut, making my week much brighter - I am a grumpy pants most of the time._

 _Anyway..._

 _Chapter XII has some jumping from scene to scene. I tried to make it quite obvious with breaks and such in hopes it's still followable. I also hope some of you are still enjoying reading this story. It's been pretty fun to write it but it will come to an end with chapter XIII - which has been written for a while, though it will need lots of adjustments._

 _I hope this post finds everyone well. If you have time, let me know what you thought of this chapter! As always, thank you so very much for reading this._

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter XII

 _Ichijodani Asakura Family Historic Ruins_ , read the binder Itou-sensei held in one hand, the other, rested on Noriko's shoulder. From the beginning Noriko was worried about the projects both American and Japanese universities would assign to her, and understandably, the dark-haired woman couldn't help but sigh deeply and wonder why anyone would send more people to those ruins. The historical site had been restored several decades ago and Noriko thought there was no need for more excavations in the area. She was annoyed, but she had signed the contract and had to honor their agreement.

"The secret lies behind the mountains, dear Noriko. Behind the mountains!" The older man handed the binder to Noriko and asked her to follow him into his office.

Inside the office, the former Rosa Gigantea looked at her watch, then at Itou-sensei who hid behind his computer for a brief second, typing something quickly then sliding his chair away from his desk he looked straight at Noriko, "Deep between those mountains there's a shrine." He pointed toward the binder, "you can see it for yourself on page seven."

As Noriko flipped the pages, three more professors walked into Itou-sensei's office, one of which was, for Noriko's additional annoyance, Shimako; _Monday's mission: failed._ She found page seven then flipped to page eight and nine while Itou-sensei kept up with the updates.

Itou-sensei had the same approach to semi-local digs, "I'll take three of you to Nara in two weeks, we'll spend the weekend gathering information then during the winter break we'll go back and start collecting artifacts."

Nara was four hours away from Tokyo by train.

Four hours stuck breathing the same air as Shimako.

Noriko wasn't happy when the blonde sat across from her, though Shimako buried herself behind a laptop during the entire trip. Not even once did Noriko feel the blonde's eyes upon her. Not even once gray met chocolate.

At first, Noriko was extremely worried about Itou-sensei's unorthodox ways. There was no reason for two Cultural Anthropologists to be scouting that site, _He would be better off with four Archaeologists…_ However, the sudden avoidance from pools of gray, which followed Noriko religiously whenever possible, somewhat overshadowed the thought of Itou-sensei's weird approach. Was Shimako not going to look even once?

Dark-green rocks and deep-auburn leaves; Nara had beautiful parks, ancient shrines and temples; restored monuments, a national museum, an ancient imperial palace and many gardens. A blanket of dark hues and ancient history covered the town. As Shimako stepped foot into the squeaky train station and looked up, her breath was caught in her throat: Small rays of sunshine squeezed through the small windows with resolute will, crashing against Noriko's hair and skin, but the brunette ignored the contact, pressing forward silently until she finally stopped in front of a large railroad sign which rested by a mural containing information about the historic train station. Shimako watched as the brunette opened a backpack, retrieved a camera and snapped a shot of the mural. Gray eyes tactfully diverged as chocolate ones analyzed the quality of the picture taken.

Who said the blonde wasn't looking?

###

Not too long prior to the Nara trip, Sachiko had accidentally ran into quite a conference at Nana's – the restaurant was closed for lunch on Mondays. The heiress had stopped by unannounced and as she walked through the back door and reached the middle of the small kitchen, she heard muffled voices.

When the kitchen door swung open, Nana was the first person Sachiko saw, though she wasn't alone; Shizuka sat by the short woman and Shimako by Shizuka. Three friends, three hearts interconnected by a very strong red string of fate. Sachiko's heart beat faster; there was so much love in that restaurant, so much written history and so many other stories waiting to come about. The heiress was absolutely sure that Maria-sama had watched over those women and was still, to this day, taking care of them.

"Sachiko-sama," Shimako stood and so did Nana and Shizuka.

Sachiko bowed deeply, "It was never my intention to interrupt..."

The three women exchanged looks, though, Shimako was the one who took the first step, and toward the heiress she went. Reaching for Sachiko's hand, the blonde spoke softly, "Will you join us, please?"

No one could pretend that Noriko's heart didn't stand between the two women. Sachiko, as a friend, wanted to protect the scattered pieces from more damage, and if that meant keeping the brunette away from Shimako, she'd respect Noriko's resolve. Although, if Noriko's will was to be around the blonde, then Sachiko would also support the decision – when it came down to seeing Noriko happy, Sachiko was one of the first people to stand by whatever the woman decided. In Shimako's defense, all she longed for was to find the missing parts of that heart, mend them together and care for them endlessly. Nonetheless, Noriko had been a subject that the two women refused to discuss, perhaps in hopes to avoid the exchange of unwanted words, or perhaps because rare were the occasions the two women actually faced each other. Everyone knew that Sachiko avoided Shimako extensively through the blonde's tumultuous disappearance and reappearance.

Still, Shimako brought Sachiko over to where the others stood, asking the raven-haired woman to sit. The blonde walked to the bar and started on more tea. She sat a teacup and plate in front of the heiress, and poured hot water from the electrical kettle into the teapot, "We've been reminiscing," she smiled and Nana finally exhaled. Shizuka squeezed Nana's hand; reassurance things would turn out just fine.

"Is that so?" Sachiko asked. She had always been considered the ice princes and Sachiko knew very well of the way people thought she came across. However, the question she posed resonated much more like a legitimate question than a snarky comment. The woman was genuinely curious. And the two boxes that sat on the bar, filled with envelopes and postcards, made Sachiko even more interested in what exactly Shimako meant by reminiscing.

The request to look at the letters exchanged by Shimako and Shizuka was made by Nana; a simple explanation, which made Sachiko nod.

"And they've been reading them since this morning!" Nana beamed.

One of the last things Sachiko wanted to do was to intrude, the heiress' curiosity had already been satisfied by simply learning about the contents of the box. Shimako poured the Ogasawara heiress a fresh cup of tea and topped off everyone else's, "They're just old letters, Sachiko-sama." Truthfully, those letters were invaluable for both Shimako and Shizuka; nevertheless, the blonde added, "they are just words…" Words that kept the two afloat during many dark paths they walked through. " I wouldn't have invited you if there were things we wouldn't want you to acknowledge."

And so, just like that, Nana reached into Shimako's box and pulled a postcard, handing it to Shizuka. The brunette cleared her throat and started,

 _My dear little sister,_

 _Anagni says hello. I know how much you loved it here and I must admit, this is one of my favorite medieval cities! My heart is happy when I walk these streets. Perhaps it's Maria-sama letting me know she's still watching. I pray she is taking good care of you as well._

 _This summer's sun has been beautiful. Next time you are out and feel its warmth, consider yourself hugged by me!_

 _Much love,_

 _S. Kanina_

The moment the last sentence of that post-card was originally read, Shimako sprinted outside. The sun shone brightly.

"That day was actually the hottest day of that summer, can you believe that?"

"Shimako…" Shizuka shook her head. Though Nana pulled her phone and looked up the temperatures during that specific summer. Lo and behold, that entire week was indeed the warmest of all summer.

"Next?" Shimako looked at Sachiko, who immediately shook her head.

Shizuka, who was really enjoying the reading session, reached into Shimako's box and pulled a letter. She looked at it then put it back into the box and reached for a postcard instead.

"Hey!" Nana complained. "That's not fair Shizuka-sama!"

The addition of the honorific made Sachiko raise an eyebrow. Was Nana being respectful to Sachiko by adding sama to Shizuka's name, or were they still not ready to drop the formalities?

When Nana reached for the box and Shizuka grabbed the smaller woman by the waist and dragged her off the stool onto the floor while a very girlish squeal of, "Shizuuukaaa-sama!" left Nana's lips, Sachiko smiled, understanding that the two women, though still learning about one-another, were much closer than simple friends.

Shizuka was fast, but not fast enough to keep Nana from taking the letter with her. Shimako watched the interaction quietly and when Nana was once again on her feet, asked for the letter. Shizuka shook her head, but Nana went around the brunette, delivering the old envelope to Shimako, who opened it and pulled out a blue piece of paper from the wrinkled protection.

"My Dearest friend," she started.

"Shimako, you don't have to," Shizuka interfered.

Shimako wanted to, and so she pressed forth.

 _My Dearest Friend,_

 _I hope you have finally settled in your new home. It must be weird for you to go from having to spend so much time sharing a dormitory to being completely on your own. How are the perks of complete freedom?_

 _I am sure that those once bare walls have many pictures hanging on them already. E-mail me some new shots of the house? I have been curious about it!_

 _In another note, as you welcome a new chapter of your life, I am also turning the page on my own story. Today I leave for the cloister._

 _Shizuka-sama, I shouldn't be tumulted by feelings of regret, yet I cannot help but be tremendously torn. For the longest time I dreamed of the day I would finally be able to do what I thought my calling was. Becoming a servant, a woman of God, that has always been something I proud myself in becoming._

 _Nevertheless, here I am, absolutely devastated by the fact that I have broken a heart that did nothing but love me. And by shattering that heart, mine has also been destroyed. Noriko meant (means, rather, as this feeling, I am afraid, is everlasting) everything to me. During the past few years she was able to fill a void left by my one-sama with ease, holding my hand and lessening a burden I thought I had to carry alone._

 _What I did to her is a sin much more severe than any other sins I have committed. Loving her (more than myself at times) perhaps was also another sin, but it sure does not feel like one. By my own selfishness I led her to believe I would stay. And truthfully if becoming a nun was not something I needed to do, I would renounce everything if it meant that I could go back in time to when Noriko's heart was still whole._

 _Shizuka-sama, I hope you do not think I am crazy for confessing this to you. This love I feel toward her is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me and I am a fool for choosing my ideologies over Noriko, who is tangible and invaluable._

 _Please, dear sister, I trust that you can keep this a secret between us as sharing my true feelings with anyone could jeopardize people's safety and sanity._

 _I hope this letter finds you well and enjoying the crisp early winter breeze I know you love so much._

 _Love always,_

 _Todou Shimako_

Silence enveloped the restaurant for what it felt like an eternity and Sachiko's tears, streamed down her face with no intent of stopping. The heiress' thoughts went directly to Yumi, to the home that they shared, reminding of Sachiko of the brunette from the moment she walked in and saw pictures hanging on the walls to the second she would reach their bedroom and could still smell the younger woman's perfume lingering in the air. _Will they ever feel this peace?_

When Nana broke the silence, the women unanimously decided that enough letters had been read for that one sitting and promised they would pick up where they left off the following week. As Sachiko closed the door to her car, she pulled her phone and speed-dialed one of her assistants.

"I need you to deliver something for me tomorrow."

"Hai, Ogasawara-sama"

"You'll find these directions quite interesting, though."

"Anything for you, ma'am."

Once the directions were given to the assistant, she called Yumi.

"Everything okay, Sa-chan?"

"Yes, love. I just wanted to hear your voice."

###

Itou-sensei knew that the circumstances of the dig were quite unusual as the shrine was located behind a waterfall and in order to get to the site, the group had to go down a mountain then up the rocks. The mountain, heavily occupied by trees, had been roped from top to bottom in a poor attempt to guide explorers toward the easiest route possible. And the easiest route possible was still not that easy.

The hike downward to the base of the waterfall was long and rough and while none of the equipment was broken or damaged, Shimako and Noriko had to immediately turn around to bring more gear down –rookie work.

If the hike down had taken about 45 minutes, Noriko knew for sure she'd be stuck alone with Shimako for at least another hour. The brunette was ready for awkward encounters with the blonde – like the one night when Shizuka waited for Nana outside the restaurant – though, in the city, she was able to wiggle her way out of things with ease. The mountain gave Noriko little room to run.

Nevertheless, Shimako remained silent walking in front of Noriko until around forty minutes into their walk.

"Camellias!" Shimako squealed, very unusually.

"Huh?" Noriko was confused for a second.

"A wild reticulate is extremely rare! Noriko, this is amazing!"

Noriko took the camera from the bag, leaning on the rope to get closer to the flower and as she approached the wild Camellias, she saw more, dozens, maybe hundreds of them. The brunette watched as Shimako went under the rope, walking toward the bushes.

"There must be hundreds of them!"

One step after the other revealed a red sea of the wild flowers bordering a cliff. Noriko stood side-by-side with Shimako and the view, which was already breathtaking, became a work of art in the eyes of the blonde. The two women remained there, silent, watching as the flowers stood still at times then danced to gusts of wind.

Unfortunately, moments like such had become rarities in Noriko's life and much like many other peaceful times, that one also ended quite abruptly. Without much warning, the wind blew at an extremely high speed, making a heavy branch from a large tree crack and fall toward the two women. As Shimako pulled Noriko to the side, away from the falling branch, she lost footing and stumbled for a few feet before finally losing contact with the ground.

It was Noriko's turn to shriek after watching the blonde disappear down the cliff.

"Shimako-san!"

Noriko's legs buckled, a rush of blood made her head spin. All the brunette could do was melt into a pool of desolation; on her knees her chest constricted, "Onee-sama!" Her lips, for so long forbidden to utter such words, betrayed their training.

There were a multitude of times throughout the years when Noriko wished Shimako was dead. The moment she walked out of the Todou shrine after being rejected by the blonde, Noriko's heart –torn to pieces – began a small revolution inside her chest. In Sei's car, Noriko felt emptiness for the first time. When the days became weeks, it was damage control mode as acceptance finally dawned upon Rosa Gigantea. Shimako had this incredible ability to make Noriko experience the deepest of feelings: affection as in when the blonde had grabbed her hands while they talked outside the University's building; confusion and anxiety like a few days prior to the trip to Nara, when flowers had been sent to the blonde and the delivery person dropped them off at Noriko's office instead.

 _Thank you for a wonderful afternoon_

 _–O_

Such a simple note had driven Noriko up the walls. Shimako made her feverish just by being across the hall from the brunette. It was an annoyance, a burden, a rollercoaster of unnecessary feelings, and Noriko thought she'd be happier if Shimako had really died the day she left for the Cloister.

Nevertheless, feelings change. Noriko was learning that the wishes of a broken heart could flip with the blink of an eye. The professor was also realizing that perhaps, wanting Shimako to be gone wasn't really her true desire, after all.

Noriko felt Shimako kneel in front of her, softly reaching for her face, and unsuccessfully trying to dry the cascade of tears. Though the professor didn't respond, she wanted, badly, for that touch to be real. Noriko wanted with all of her heart for Shimako to be really there comforting her. But Noriko had also felt those fingers across her face many times before: those dreams were warm. Those dreams were also the closest Noriko thought she would ever get from being face to face with Shimako again.

"Riko…" Shimako tentatively whispered.

"…"

Between the sounds of her own gasps, Noriko wasn't able to hear Shimako who had finally climbed up the short cliff and walked toward the professor.

Noriko wept uncontrollably, "Onee—" escaped once again from her lips, and she clenched her jaw, balled her hands into tight fist. Between the violent sobs, she wasn't able to finish the plea, though Shimako heard it clearly; one word which made the blonde's heart swell up with hope.

Arms wrapped around Noriko's smaller frame; the embrace was a million times warmer than any dream. "Riko…" Shimako tried again, much louder the second time, finally receiving the attention she requested. With much caution chocolate met gray, triggering another cascade of tears, though a shy smile also adorned Noriko's face that time around.

###

"So, I'll go into Nijou-sensei's office first to ask her where Todou-sensei's office is, even though Todou-sensei is not going to be there…"

"Correct."

"Then after walking the flowers to the right office, you want me to go back to Nijou-sensei's office and ask if she could deliver the bouquet?"

"Correct."

"Ogasawara-sama… This is... interesting to say the least."

"I know. And you're the only one I can entrust with such plans."

"I appreciate your faith in me. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

"That's all, my friend."


	13. Chapter 13

Hello!

My deepest apologies for the unexpected hiatus!

I had a lot of fun writing this story, and I wanted to thank you guys for braving the storm with Noriko and Shimako -and for being okay with the ups and downs of my writing.

I hope this last chapter wraps things up properly for our main characters. It took me a while to get it to where I felt it was ready and worthy of being published.

To everyone who followed the story, left comments or even just visited for a couple of minutes: THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I really appreciate the feedback! Maria-sama ga Miteru is one of my favorites -if not my favorite- Light Novel/Anime and being part of this fandom is an absolute delight! :)

Thank you!

* * *

Whatever it was - Chapter XIII

A thick layer of snow had covered the streets of Tokyo, thick jackets adorned the shivering bodies which were strong enough to brave the windy roads, and train stations were perhaps a warmer choice than bus stops. Inside the faculty building Noriko locked her office door and stepped onto the hallway with the resolve to brave the weather.

Flashbacks from Nara had been a continuous part of professor's life ever since she left the town. _Onee-sama!_ She brought her fingers to her lips. The idea of those words, screamed at the top of her lungs again after so many years still made her chest tighten. Noriko stopped in front of the exit door; the faculty hall was empty, giving the professor the ability to stare at her feet until the echo of that plea subsided in her head. When her heart slowed down again, she inhaled deeply and opened the door.

Once the freezing wind touched upon her cheeks, Noriko exhaled. Lifting her head, Noriko expected to find an empty path painted in white ahead of her; however, what she saw was so much more beautiful than the bareness of a wintry afternoon: black jeans and a navy pecoat; Maria-sama leaned against one of the trees in front of the faculty building.

Brunette wavy tresses swiveled to the rhythm of the chilly gusts and as she started to walk toward Noriko, one of the ends of the woman's scarf loosened up making her halt her steps and fiddle with it for a second before pressing on. That Maria-sama, as imperfect she might have been, was one of the most incredible women Noriko had ever known.

"Yumi-sama, it's cold!"

The architect closed the distance between the two and offered Noriko one of the warmest embraces she had received in a long time, "How about we get out of this blizzard?"

Noriko was almost certain Yumi wasn't there to meddle; nevertheless, she accepted the invitation to move away from the cold with hesitance. Truth be told, Yumi had asked innumerous times for Sachiko not to interfere in Noriko's choices. She had asked her partner to stay still and wait, "because only time could settle things for Noriko and Shimako." However, the more Sachiko sat by Shimako when the blonde read the letters written to Shizuka, the more the heiress wanted to help Shimako mend the relationship with Noriko. Still, Sachiko found herself torn between wanting to support Noriko's decisions, and wanting Shimako's happiness as well.

The last time the friends met to read letters, Sachiko had said her goodbyes quicker than usual; the heiress then drove straight to the Fukuzawa Architecture office, charged through the small house-turned-workplace, ignored the secretary's greet and rushed into Yumi's office, slamming the door shut before leaning against it and slowly lowering herself to the floor between sobs.

The commotion had happened so suddenly that Yumi was only able to stand up before Sachiko had already melted into a small pool of tangled hair and tears. The architect didn't utter a word. She simply took a step at the time, reaching Sachiko and kneeling in front of her; she then swept those tresses carefully to the side before arms wrapped around Sachiko.

The room went quiet for the split second deep blue met chocolate. Sachiko reached for Yumi's face, though before any words were said, the heiress broke down again. Sachiko felt anxious once more, even though she had been with Yumi for several years now. At that second, the heiress wanted with all of her heart to tell Yumi she loved her, that she was absolutely the luckiest woman in the world for being able to share her life with the brunette. Yet, all Sachiko's body allowed her to do was to let Yumi hold on to her until the sobs subsided, until her heart untightened, until all she could feel was Yumi's steady breath.

In the warmth of Yumi's embrace, head against a chest which rose calmly up and down, Sachiko was finally able to whisper, "I love you." She was at last able to tell Yumi for the millionth time that not owning up to the pleading of her heart earlier was something she regretted and would regret for the rest of her life: happiness could have began much earlier for the couple. Still, Yumi reiterated the fact that the tempestuous times strengthened their relationship, matured their hearts and helped them in the adjusting and compromising every strong relationship goes through.

There was a fire in Sachiko's eyes, a love toward Yumi that not even the own heiress, as well-read she was, could put into words. Yumi knew that Sachiko was not only hurting because she thought of the times when she made Yumi suffer, but also because she couldn't bear to see Noriko –as well as Shimako– go through the same suffering: hurting for the simple fact they thought they deserved the pain of being apart. "Both of them hold on to their demons as if they need them to survive. I'm afraid of what would happen if they let go," Yumi whispered.

At that moment, under the dim light of a small lamp, sitting on the floor of Yumi's office, Sachiko didn't have to say a word in order to make Yumi change her mind about helping her friends, "They have to meet each other in the middle, Sachan. There's only so much we can do, but I will do whatever I can to at least make Noriko speak to Shimako. If they're not ready, though, not even Maria-sama can change their minds…"

And so, Yumi sat across from Noriko inside a ramen house, cup of tea in hand watching her friend sip on a can of coffee. The architect, long known for her 100 faces, smirked; she knew by then Noriko had realized why she had reached out to the professor.

"Yumi-sama…"

"Have I ever, even once, forced you into anything which would jeopardize your health or your heart?"

00XX00

New leaves, strong and green adorned the trees in front of Noriko's apartment.

She heard a familiar honk and took a quick glance at herself in the mirror for the last time. Out the window she saw Sei's car, Youko sat on the passenger seat. Then, her phone rang.

"Your carriage awaits you, Milady." Sei started.

"And where is this carriage supposed to take me to, if I may ask."

"I'm not sure, Milady, all I know is that 'tis seven o'clock and I am supposed to pick Milady up.

"Ok?"

"However."

"However?"

"Yes, however. Milady will have to forgive me as I must send a servant to dress you."

"What are you talking about, Sei-sama?"

"Dude, just shut your mouth and wait for Youko, she's coming up."

"Why is Youko-sama coming up?"

"Are you deaf? To dress you."

How Youko convinced her to wear such a hideous dress, Noriko had no idea. All she knew was that Sei was, at that moment, cutting through parking lots and going over sidewalks around downtown Tokyo.

Then, suddenly, she took a turn toward the burbs and slowed down. The trees were packed with green, the cars, neatly parked on driveways. Kids played soccer on the streets and so Sei had to wait for a few of them to run to the sidewalks before she could proceed with the drive. It was almost as if time, rather than Sei, had slowed down.

And then, without much warning, there they were: those two gates, strong as ever, protected by a pathway of trees, and Sei, against her will, crossed that simple threshold between Lillian and reality. Clenching her jaws, she pressed on the gas, Youko laid a hand on her thigh, a small sign of reassurance. Noriko had none of that; rather, she held on tightly to the fabric that covered her heart.

Sei parked the car and quickly stepped out followed by Youko. Noriko also opened her door and felt the warm breeze graze her cheeks.

"What is this?"

"We were told you had a date and needed a ride." Youko responded, even though Noriko's gaze fell upon Sei.

Noriko thanked her friends then fell into silence before opening the door, which led to the foyer, which led upstairs. The old house smelt the same, the stairs still complained to be stepped on, making Noriko wonder about how many other hearts had been broken by forbidden love inside those walls.

As Noriko approached the biscuit door, she heard a soft melody seep through it. The professor had grown very fond of a few pianists, having many songs engraved in her memory. Though she was not sure who the artist of Shimako's choice was, the melody gave her butterflies. She liked the way her heart moved when music touched it; that feeling was incredible, comfortable, warm. What she felt when she finally opened the door and lifted her eyes; however, was so familiar, yet completely different than anything she had ever felt before.

Across from Noriko, stood Shimako, dressed in her Lillian uniform. For Shimako's surprise and thanks to Youko –by Yumi's orders– Noriko also had the ten-year-old dress on. Between the music and what they saw, neither one of the girls knew exactly how to react until Shimako started, "Gokigenyou, Nijou-sensei." She then led Noriko to the table placed in the middle of the conference room, and perhaps unmoved for decades.

"I'm not sure–" Noriko started only to be interrupted by Shimako, " No one's sure of anything…"

Awkwardness lingered between the two women and no matter how hard they tried, nothing, not even the familiar surroundings, could have made that feeling go away. Noriko offered to make coffee as well as tea; realizing everything had remained in its place, she chuckled. Not only was that room magical for it was able to bring the loneliest hearts together, it also had the power to make time stand still. Sei had experienced that feeling as she drove through the gates of Lillian; Noriko was finally experiencing the same sensation. Lillian was a supernatural place; there was no denying that fact.

"All they have is black tea. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you still don't like it?" Noriko said, closing the cabinet and walking toward the table.

"That's alright. I brought wine… and beer, if you rather have that."

Noriko pulled a chair and sat down across from Shimako, "Anything stronger than that?" she asked.

"Gin." Shimako joked with a smile that gave it away.

"You've got wits, Todou-sensei."

"I actually brought a bottle of Jack. Would you like some?"

"That'd be better than coffee, actually."

Shimako poured the two of them a glass, handing one to Noriko and keeping the other to herself. She then raised the glass, "Cheers."

Noriko said nothing. She simply lifted her glass quickly before taking a sip of the dark liquor, Shimako imitated the action. The soft melody coming from a laptop was the only noise in a room once full of heated discussions, tight embraces and love confessions.

"…"

"E-even after all of these years, this dress suits you beautifully," the words escaped Shimako's lips with grace and innocence only a Lillian girl could evoke.

"Thank you," Noriko replied, "I was a bit confused when Youko handed it to me."

Although the younger woman was trying hard not to give too much away, she couldn't keep the blush from reaching her cheeks. Shimako had always been very encouraging and supportive of Noriko. There had never been any doubts regarding the love Shimako had for the younger woman, and that, Noriko couldn't use against her. Shimako's eyes glimmered at the sight of Noriko, a smile always adorned her face when the brunette's voice echoed across the Rose Mansion. And even though Noriko knew all of those facts, that one time when Shimako didn't smile at Noriko's words, that one time when Noriko's presence was not wanted by Shimako, that one time, scarred Noriko's heart and damaged her trust toward the older woman for years to come. At another place and time, Noriko would have smiled brightly at the slightest compliment coming from the blonde. Noriko's fingers would find Shimako's and a warm wave would overcome her body. At that moment, though, a thank you, unfortunately, was all the younger of the Gigantea sisters could say.

When Sachiko reached out to Shimako to explain the date plan, the blonde was ecstatic. Yumi had given her an incredible chance to finally tell Noriko her side of the story; nevertheless, Yumi had ground rules, which needed to be laid out not only for the safety of Noriko's heart but also to protect Shimako. Remembering she needed to start things slowly, she began, "Where have you been all of these years besides Boston?"

 _Hiding from you,_ Noriko chose to keep the thought to herself, there was no need to start a fight when she already knew the arguments Shimako would use; excuses for bad decisions made by a very smart, but very stubborn child. Shimako was a child. Looking back now, at 19, coming from a Buddhist family that spoiled the girl to the extent of letting her attend a Christian school, Shimako was nothing but a stubborn brat. Noriko experienced the extent of Shimako's immaturity in the very beginning of their soeurship when the blonde couldn't grasp the concept of sharing and didn't understand that she could have had both, her Yamayurikai friends and Noriko if she only could own her feelings. Shimako's fear of making waves had always been one of the woman's biggest flaws. Ironically enough, by denying Noriko, she also built a very thick and tall wall between her and her Yamayurikai friends.

Noriko went on to briefly explain her whereabouts during the past several years while Shimako sat across from the younger woman, taking in the sound of every syllable Noriko uttered, the anatomy of her mouth as it curled up when she spoke of exciting things and the way her bottom lip stiffened when she told tales of times when she struggle to grasp concepts. Noriko had always been a very passionate woman, someone to take responsibility for her own actions, those being correct or out of line. She knew what she wanted unless the subject was Shimako. Noriko went from loving to not loving, from a burning desire to break the walls of the Cloister and steal Shimako away to the pseudo-burying of Shimako's love for Noriko with the help from her friends when the younger woman turned 21. At some point in time Noriko had felt the utmost love and the deepest hate for the woman sitting across from her.

"Shimako-sama…"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Shimako-sama, what do you want from me?"

"Noriko-san…"

Courage.

Shimako was looking for it, "I… I was wondering if you thought—"

"That's not what I asked."

"…"

"You, Shimako, what do you want?"

There was yet another long pause before Shimako spoke, the blonde gathered her thoughts for a second, not letting her eyes stray away from the brunette across from her. Noriko, understanding the significance of the question, allowed Shimako as much time as the blonde needed.

"I…" Shimako unclasped her hands and brought them from her lap onto the table before continuing, "I want you," she closed her eyes and exhaled, a shy smile adorning her face, "Plain and simple… You…"

"…"

"…It has always been you, Riko. From the moment I met you under that Sakura tree, to the time when you took my rosary and promised to be with me until I graduated. I was an idiot not to realize that having you in my life was what really made me happy. I was so lost I couldn't see I had other options besides becoming a nun. I was an idiot, and when I had realized I was an idiot, it was too late. You were gone, God knows to where and no one would tell me anything!" Shimako had tears in her eyes, shy ones which rolled from her face landing on her lap, but she pressed on, "I reached out to everyone until Sei broke down but I needed more information, so one day after many years I finally found myself at your aunt's steps. She told me you were about to travel to South America and also about the possibility of you coming back, about Tokyo U… I called Tsutako right away and she introduced me to Itou-sensei. There was a visiting scholar position open and I was able to take it, I got tenured just last semester. I–"

"You're selfish."

"You've already told me that years ago."

"You're still selfish."

"You're right… You also told me that I couldn't only focus on the two of us. You were wrong! All of these years without you and you were all I could think of. You have changed so much, evolved into complex creatures, and for some reason every time I look at you, I… I can't help but fall in love again!" As those last words were being said, Noriko stood silently and took Shimako by the hand, "I think we both need fresh air," she said, and slowly took Shimako to the balcony. The waxing crescent moon lit up the sky, the trees danced back and forth and Shimako leaned against the rail, Noriko did the same, their arms touched but neither one of them moved.

"All of these years and all I'm holding on to is the feeling of your body against mine. It's so stupid that we spent so much time together and I was such a coward not to even steal a kiss from you…" Shimako chuckle, her cheeks flushed with the forwardness of her confession.

The ginkgo trees stood ever so tall in front of the Rose Mansion, and Noriko stared a them in a attempt to tame the butterflies that appeared both from Shimako's confession and from the small contact that neither woman dared to break; she joked, "I really don't think that stealing would be the proper term. The kiss would've been more like an anticipated gift of sorts." And as Noriko turned to face Shimako, the gift was finally delivered.

Lips crashed; literally. And Shimako immediately pulled away, scared she had hurt Noriko, physically, as she knew what she had done to the brunette's heart, "I am so sorry, Riko," she started, frantically, "I… I tried to be romantic and I… just… I… Are you hurt? Are you okay? I'm so sor-"

"I'm fine." Noriko brought a hand up to her lips and quickly examine her fingers. At the sight of some red on her hand, she lifted her head to finally meet Shimako's gaze for the first time after the kiss, or attempt thereof.

"Blood."

"Oh. My. I'm so sorry, Riko."

"It's not mine," Noriko answered, and as Shimako brought her own hands to her mouth, a sea of red painted her fingers, "Oh, my!" She cried.

Noriko grabbed the older woman by the hand and guided her back inside, sat her down at the table and told her to wait there. She then walked to the cooler with beer that Shimako had brought and grabbed a handful of ice, wrapping it in a clean kitchen towel she found in the same place they had been stored for decades, she assumed. She then walked to the sink and grabbed a roll of paper towels, tore a few sheets and wet them in the faucet. And so, she walked toward Shimako, who watched the younger woman carefully. Noriko kneeled and brought the hand that held the wet paper towels up, "Let me see it," she sounded worried.

"You shouldn't. I can clean up in the bathroom."

"Let. Me. See. It!"

Shimako finally obeyed the command and Noriko held the blonde's face up with one hand while the other worked methodically, wiping down the blood from Shimako's lips with extreme gentleness. Noriko examined Shimako carefully: her gray eyes that glimmered with uncertainty and fear, her nose with nostrils that flared just a tiny bit when the ice reached the source of the bleeding. And her mouth; thin lips stared back at Noriko, a small pout, and the desire of so many years, which in a turn of events had brought them there; face to face again.

"I think it stopped bleeding, but I can definitely see the cut."

Shimako ran her tongue across her upper lip, " Thank you," she nodded.

"Let me see it again," Noriko said, bringing the improvised bag of ice up toward Shimako's lips. She lifted her head toward Noriko and closed her eyes tightly, fearing the harshness of the cold cloth. The ice stung and Shimako felt embarrassed for the situation she had put herself in. She opened one eye and peaked for a quick second: Noriko dabbed the ice carefully on her lips, the touch making her cheeks flush, and though she knew Noriko would notice, Shimako did everything she could to sit still. Noriko stopped to readjust the ice pack, then brought the ice back up toward Shimako's lips a third time, the blonde closed her eyes yet again but instead of cold, there was nothing.

"…"

"Shimako…" Noriko was already standing when Shimako reopened her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Noriko walked toward the biscuit door while Shimako stood quietly. She simply let Noriko walk away; it was part of the ground rules established by Yumi and unfortunately, Shimako had to respect Noriko's choice and let her go. To the blonde, that was it. She had promised herself that date night would be the last attempt she made in trying to tell Noriko how much she loved her and how sorry she was for the thing she made the brunette go through. Shimako was done.

With the click shut of the biscuit door, the blonde reached for the cellphone in her pocket. It was time to go.

"Hello!" Sei answered, "Is it time to pick everyone up?"

"Onee-sama…"

"…"

Sei heard a sniffle on the other side of the line, "Shimako-chan…"

"…"

"Little one," Sei started, "Once upon a time, this guy wrote: 'Love is a disease,' and I'm only quoting someone else because I can't really come up with a better explanation to how love makes people feel. To tell you the truth, I thought Noriko would understand where you were coming from and then things would be fine. But people change, love, feelings come and go and you need to understand that. You finally have closure now and I hope it helps you moving on and forward. It's not easy, love, but I'm here for you, ok? I'm… I'm here and Youko is here, too. This time you'll have us, we're not abandoning you. Just understand that Noriko had her reasons, okay? We all have our own reasons… you know, to do the things we do. I just can't believe I was so wrong to think she still loved you… I'm so sorry, love."

"…"

"S-should we come pick you up?"

"I'll call you again when I am ready," Shimako's voice cracked, "Thank you, Onee-sama."

"We're on our way, come down whenever you're ready."

Sei and Youko waited in the dim-lit, empty parking lot. Sei looked at Youko, who turned the radio on and up, then reaching across, she found Sei's hand, holding it tightly. No words were exchanged for a long time until they heard the back door of Sei's car open and close, then Shimako buckled her seatbelt silently.

00xx00

 _Dear sister,_

 _I cannot believe that after so many years I still dream about her, I still feel the warmth of her fingers as they found mine. There hasn't been one day this week which I haven't woken up to the sound of her voice whispering my name._

Shimako slowly opened the biscuit door and as she lifted her eyes, she saw Maria-sama glimmering through lights illumining the walls which led downstairs. With the help of perfectly aligned projectors, Shimako's letters adorned the Rose Mansion's once bare walls. Letters written in cursive, addressed to Kanina Shizuka, signed Todou Shimako, with numerous dates and locations throughout a span of more than a decade; explaining in the most miniscule detail the love she had toward the woman who had still not turned around nor noticed that Shimako had walked out of the meeting room.

 _Dear Shizuka-sama,_

 _I wish this snow covering the streets of Sapporo just swallowed me whole. Even though complaining about Hokkaido should be considered blasphemy, I still feel empty in this city. I thought my travels through Japan would bring me closure and solace; yet, my heart, for some reason, still cannot let go of the fact I lost the person I loved the most. There's yet to be a moment in this field trip that I found myself alone, even still, I feel lonely. Is this a curse?_

"No-riko…"

 _…It's been so long since I've seen her smile. I wish somehow I could forget what she looked like, what her voice sounded like, how much light she brought into my life. Everything about her seems to be carved deep into the layers of my heart. I can't, to save my life, erase her._

"Are these real?" Noriko turned around to face the blonde. She pointed at the wall, "Are these letters real?"

 _…Love at first sight has been something which I had never believed in, until I met Noriko. I was standing under a sakura tree when she approached me. I'm sure she thought I was a crazy Onee-sama dancing under the falling leaves… I have fallen in love again today. Though my surroundings were much less striking, the woman who took my breath away was as stunning as she was when I first fell for her. Noriko has this ability to be both the same woman I loved a decade ago, as well as this new person my heart wants to get to know so badly. I love both these women equally._

Shimako brough one of her hands to her lips, taking a deep breath, "I didn't know they'd go the extent of…"

Yumi, who had known about the letters, had contacted Tsutako and asked if the photographer-turned-art-professor could help her turning them into posters. The architect, then reached out to Sei in hopes she could sweet-talk someone in her marketing department to help them set up the projectors. The motion detectors were installed by one of Yumi's friends who was a contractor.

"Did you write them?!"

"Y—yes…"

At least 15 letters out of the innumerous written to Shizuka were displayed on the wall, and Noriko took her time to read them all; carefully, soaking in all of the sorrow and love which was plastered across Shimako's handwriting. When she was finished, she looked at Shimako again, "How bad did it hurt?"

There was a split second when Shimako opened her mouth to answer, but refrained from words. She, instead, walked toward Noriko then lifted one of her long sleeves and turned her left wrist upward.

"It was my first Saturday in the Convent. The first Saturday I wouldn't be able to spend with you." Noriko reached forward and held on to Shimako's hand while her fingers ran across the scar.

That day Shimako had packed her bags and had decided she was going straight to Noriko's house, when she finally realized how much damage she had done. "I knew you wouldn't forgive me, even if I begged you. I had realized I had nothing to live for anymore." Shimako had already in her heart renounced the path she though was hers from the beginning, though "I had no home to go back to because I had destroyed your heart."

"Shimako…"

"I hope one day I can make you understand that I am so sorry for not being strong when I needed to be. But I hope you also realize that loving you is inevitable."

Grasping the concept of love had always been difficult, but Noriko knew from the beginning that her feelings toward Shimako were true. The younger of the Gigantea sisters had always had a strong resolve, a great understanding of her own feelings, her wants and her needs. Nevertheless, the cracks in Noriko's determination, all of her fears and doubts streamed from one singular source: Todou Shimako. A young Noriko never feared Shimako's rejection, it wasn't the denial of her love that scared her, it was not being able to be around the blonde that brought Noriko to her knees and silenced the girl. Although the two women had expressed with –subtle– actions the degree of their affection toward one another, the words that could have once bound the hearts together were neglected for years until Noriko spilled them forth the night before Shimako left for the Cloister.

"What if…" Noriko started, "What if I told you that a million butterflies want to escape from my chest right now?"

"I'd tell you to let them because they belong in my heart," Shimako smiled.

Noriko brought Shimako's wrist to her lips and ever so softly kissed the decade-old scar. Even before the brunette was completely finished with the endearing gesture, Shimako had already closed the distance between her own lips and Noriko's, capturing the younger professor's mouth in hers with all the care in the world. But Noriko wanted more, and Shimako was more than willing to give whatever the brunette asked of her. When Noriko's tongue finally parted Shimako's lips, the blonde finally felt as if she could press on as well. And pressing on she did, telling Noriko, without words, that, that kiss conveyed a love which withstood so many years of tribulations, uncertainties and a distance the size of the Atlantic Ocean. Though, it also carried the sensibility and the strength of a Lillian lady.

The brunette was methodical; a bottom lip biter who architected subtle pauses, which allowed Shimako to lead her own exploration with much detail. Noriko breathed in Shimako's sighs, breathed out Shimako's name, all the while studying with lips and tongue, every inch of a mouth that belonged to her from the start. A sturdy arm wrapped around Shimako's waist while the other hand found the softness of a neck, right below the ear.

Between smiles and gasps, Noriko and Shimako tried to convey their feelings through the most delicate yet passionate of gestures. As Shimako's lips danced slowly against Noriko's, the older woman's arms enveloped and brought Noriko closer to her and even then Shimako wanted more; with all of her heart the blonde wanted to abate both the physical and the emotional distance between their hearts.

It was one kiss, one long, awaited, dreamed of for so many years, forgotten and then remembered, then forgotten again then cursed and wanted yet again with even more fervor, kiss. One kiss that had ignited a flame subsided for years but never extinguished, and that flame at that particular moment, burned ever so bright. Perhaps, brighter than the two women had ever dared to imagine it could be. One thing both Noriko and Shimako knew: that moment, inside the Rose Mansion, with no witnesses but those walls, Noriko and Shimako felt as if they were 17 again. That's how it should've felt back then: the butterflies, the hesitant touches and the crimson hue that painted their cheeks.

In the silence of the Rose Mansion, with lips still connected, Shimako's whisper, "…ve you," echoed loudly within Noriko's mind. The younger woman ceased the endearing gesture she had commenced in order to look into two pools of grey,

"Shimako…"

Straightening her own back and clutching both of Noriko's hands, Shimako cleaned her throat, "I love you," she whispered again, the latter time, much stronger than the first.

Three words Noriko longed to hear from Shimako for more than ten years. Three words she never thought she'd hear from the blonde who was then standing in front of her, with a worried frown and questioning eyes that couldn't find a specific part of Noriko's face to focus on.

"Shimako…" Noriko breathed out for the nth time that night. The name rolled off her tongue leaving the sweetest taste in the young woman's mouth.

"Shi-ma-ko," Noriko sounded out, "…right now, those three syllables, together, resonate in my heart like the most beautiful symphony I have ever heard. There were deep flats and high sharps before, a cacophony of feelings. But right now, those three syllables… your soft hands, and eyes, and lips… I've been waiting for this melody to come together ever since my eyes fell upon you so many years ago just outside these doors, Todou Shimako. For so long I was scared to say this… and when I did I was not lying but I was also desperate, my timing was wrong. Tonight, though, I hope and pray that you can understand me… I love you, Shi-ma-ko. I always have. I don't think I can ever stop."

"…"

Shimako wrapped her arms around Noriko's waist. Resting her forehead against the brunette's she whispered, "I think I have fallen for you yet again."

00xx00

A few seconds after Shimako entered Sei's car, the other door opened and closed.

"No way!" Sei let out a very un-Sei-like squeal.


End file.
